Body Language Expert

Body Language and Sexual Attraction

2011-09-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

Does Your Online Photo (Profile Photo) Captivate Those Who are Looking?

Body Language isn’t the only factor in sexual Attraction.

It is the most important.

Ah…and it may be time to update your profile picture…

When it comes to what people find sexually attractive, men probably really are from Mars and women from Venus.

For 40 years political agendas have attempted to make men and women one in the same. Nothing is further from the truth as is once again demonstrated through a simple but important study. There are so many “beliefs” that people hold that simply are wrong. Example: I bet you’ve heard that confidence is the number one thing people find attractive- recent research suggests those that believed that were wrong.

In research just released, Jessica Tracy and Alec Beall report on what displayed emotions attract the most members of the opposite sex. They found that men are attracted to women that smile and appear happy. You probably already know this by experience, as a smile from a woman usually acts as an invitation to conversation, as well as showing their nurturing, non-dominant selves. Women who displayed pride or shame, however, were rated lower in attractiveness. When women were standing up straight, chest puffed out, chin up-all sure signs of confidence-men were not impressed.

And now, the obvious: The bad boys. Women do love confident men but it doesn’t end there. Women were found to be significantly more sexually attracted to pride and shame than they were of happiness. It has been speculated that smiling in men is a sign of femininity.

So does this mean..

If you’re a man you should stop smiling at women and immediately begin exerting signs of pride and dominance everywhere you go?
If you’re a woman you should simmer down the confidence and start smiling more?

Not necessarily.

When couples are engaged in a conversation or activity together, you see them actively smiling at each other, equally having a good time. This study is pointing out the sexual attraction we have to strangers initially, with only potential generalization to our romantic partners.

Men: You don’t want to come off as shallow or pompous, but maintaining a mysterious persona at first may work to your advantage when attracting strangers. Then knock them dead with your killer sense of humor-women are three times as likely to give out their numbers to men the find humorous.

Women: While smiling at random has been shown to elevate moods, you don’t want to give off the impression of being fake, deceitful, or unreal. It is fairly easy to detect the difference between a genuine smile and a forced smile. A genuine smile is called the Duchenne smile-when the muscles in your face pull the cheeks up and wrinkle around the eyes. Smiling is not only an expression of happiness, it could also be a sign of embarrasment or deceit. Smile when you mean it- everyone appreciates a real smile. In social interactions, a smile is rewarding.

Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

2011-07-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

It's all in the message you're sending.

Make sure you get it right.

Women and Men are as different as night and day.

Peacocks with the largest and most elaborate plumage will win the right to mate with a female...then says 'see ya' and leaves the female to parent his offspring. Peacocks are notorious for their wasteful displays that serve no other function but to spread their seed to as many peahens as possible, along with their low parental investment. They would have been the perfect companions for Ghenghis Khan. It is thought that 1/6 of all people are his descendants. Kudos

Analogously, it has been a common belief for years that men with flashy cars attract women.

But is this really true?

A new study conducted by Jill Sundie and colleagues published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology confirms this phenomenon with a resounding "YES".

Spending money on extra expensive goods is called conspicuous consumption. Usually these take form in sports cars, designer clothing and shoes, among other things that scream bling.

Men that are conspicuous spenders (think Porsche) that readily display their wealth tend to

-look for short term sexual relationships or one night stands
-attract far more females than more frugal men (think Toyota Corolla or Honda Civic)
-spend lots of money in hopes of romantic flings

However, females CAN and DO see through wasteful spending and showy displays.

Females will only prefer the conspicuous spenders if they are also looking for short term relationships. Excessive spending signals to females that the males are looking for fun, and would probably be more interesting on a date.

Excessive spending DID NOT give men an advantage if they were looking for a long term mate:

Guys...if you are interested in a long term relationship but like to show off your wealth...your message is probably being lost in translation.

Women are more likely to go for the frugal spender if they are looking for something more long term. Flashy cars and expensive clothes won't get men anywhere if females are looking for someone who is loyal, can invest in a family, and would be a good father to their offspring. Marriage material.

Females can be conspicuous spenders too...but it's not because they are intending to attract a mate. Men just aren't on the top of their priority list. Sorry guys.

Make sure you are sending the specific message you CHOOSE to send with your body language AND your nonverbal communication. Both matter and neglecting one at the cost of the other will cost you....more than you can afford!

Body Language for Online Profile Pictures

2011-06-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

PROFILE PICTURES THAT WORK

What you wish you'd known last night- Why it may be time to update your profile picture

When it comes to what people find sexually attractive, men are from mars and women really are from venus.

I bet you've heard that confidence is the number one thing people find attractive- recent research suggests you've heard wrong.

In a study just released by Jessica Tracy and Alec Beall, they explore what displayed emotions attract the most members of the opposite sex.

They found that men are attracted to women that smile and appear happy.

You probably already know this by experience, as a smile from a woman usually acts as an invitation to conversation, as well as showing their nurturing, non-dominant selves.

Women who displayed pride or shame, however, were rated lower in attractiveness.

Standing up straight, chest puffed out, chin up-all sure signs of confidence-men were not impressed with.

And now, the obvious: "The bad guys..."

Women love confident men.

Women were found to be significantly more sexually attracted to pride and shame than they were of happiness.

It has been speculated that smiling in men is a sign of femininity.

So does this mean..

If you are a guy should you stop smiling at women and immediately begin exerting signs of pride and dominance everywhere you go?

A woman? Should you simmer down the confidence and start smiling more?

Not necessarily. When couples are engaged in a conversation or activity together, we see them actively smiling at each other, equally having a good time. This study is pointing out the sexual attraction we have to strangers initially, with only potential generalization to our romantic partners.

Men: You don't want to come off as shallow or pompous, but maintaining a mysterious persona at first may work to your advantage when attracting strangers. Then knock them dead with your killer sense of humor-women are three times as likely to give out their numbers to funny men.

Women: While smiling at random has been shown to elevate moods, you don't want to give off the impression of being fake, deceitful, or unreal. It is fairly easy to detect the difference between a genuine smile and a forced smile. A genuine smile is called the Duchenne smile-when the muscles in your face pull the cheeks up and wrinkle around the eyes. Smiling is not only an expression of happiness, it could also be a sign of embarrasment or deceit. Smile when you mean it- everyone appreciates a real smile. In social interactions, a smile is rewarding.

Visit - http://www.kevinhogan.com/bodylanguage.htm and learn how to Read Body Language.

Covert Hypnosis and Body Language

2011-06-24T10:44:00.001-07:00

The new book Covert Hypnosis 2020 is out and the ebook is ready for you to pick up.

Covert Hypnosis 2020 contains about 150 pages of brand new information and revisions of the other half of the material. Recommended

Blondes Screw Up Men Worse Than Most Women

2009-09-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

Great blog post I read, probably at www.katemckeon.com about blondes.

The research is overwhelming on the affect women have on men. Specifically attractive women. Attractive women cause men to be impulsive and they impair men's judgment.

The post Kate McKeon was referring to today was out of the UK and indicated that Blondes are not only more problematic, ....you know...they probably have more fun doing it...

2009 New Years Resolution - Increase Your Body Language Reading Mastery to Increase Your Sales

2009-01-07T23:45:00.000-08:00

2009 New Years Resolution - Increase Your Body Language Reading Mastery to Increase Your Sales

By Kevin Hogan

As part of your New Years resolutions for 2009, did you write down, "I want to sell more." or Did you include, "I want to learn How to Increase My Sales This Year."

Is that you? Is selling and making more sells part of how you earn your living as a sales person or as a business owner?

Well, read on.

Applying this powerful information about rapid influence will help your selling this year, even in a down economy.

When the seminar attendee asks me about just how much reading or interpreting body language really plays into their daily life, and they cite what they have done today up until that moment. Here is how I analyze each of their opportunities to influence and persuade people. How will your learning this and leveraging this powerful influence information increase your sales this year with reading body language mastery?

I'll take the list one at a time so you can think about how to read and interpret body language and apply this in your business and professional life.

Write this down. And then write 5 ways you would use that in your life. Do this now.

Ok, first of all, You Woke Up.

1. You woke up – When the alarm went off, maybe you grimaced, give a heavy and dejected sigh, sat up with your shoulders slumped and your head hanging down. Does that sound about right?

Self-Influence

All of those body language behaviors influenced your own attitude and feelings about waking up.

Others Influence

If there was another person in the room, her (or his) perception of your body language influenced her impression of you, her expectations for interacting with you, and her own attitude toward waking up and getting out of bed.

How is what you are doing and communicating with your body language impacting your own attitude and beliefs?

How is what you are doing impacting those around you? Your sales team? Your sales staff? Your Inside Sales Representatives? Your customers? Your prospects?

To learn more about how you can beat the competition, learn how to make sales and how to increase your sales influence this year, even in a down economy, click here to learn more about:

Influence BootCamp 2009

Mastering Reading Body Language to Increase Your Sales in 2009

2008-12-27T14:18:00.001-08:00

Mastering Reading Body Language to Increase Your Sales in 2009

by Kevin Hogan
Internationally Best Selling Author of Psychology of Persuasion, Irresistible Attraction, The Science of Influence, Covert Persuasion, well, and a lot more over at Amazon.com

When I'm interviewed by media by international media like the BBC as a Body Language Expert, as well as at the numerous live events where I am an international business motivational speaker occasionally I will encounter people during my events, like Influence BootCamp in Las Vegas March 2009, who doubt the power and impact of body language in communication. Whether it is the women body language or men body language, doesn't matter, they simply don’t believe it is a very important part of their daily lives and its impact for their success in all areas of their lives.

What about you? Are you in sales and marketing? Has your job been downsized in the current economic climate? Do you own your own business and need to generate more business and sales in 2009? All of that requires communication, doesn't it, for how you earn your living, right?

If your communication is essential to how you earn a living you obviously must master reading, interpreting, and decoding body language

They will usually agree it is important when giving formal presentations in business and job interviews and the like. Sure, reading, leveraging, and decoding body language would be important in sales and business meetings. But when it comes to their daily activities body language mastery is something that’s just there in the background. Often these people attend the popular influence seminar because their boss is making them go, or they feel they have to attend as part of their career development plan. (Yeah, and who isn't worried about their career with the economy in 2009?)

Bottom line, they are physically present, but they are not necessarily mentally or emotionally engaged in the process.

When I meet someone who holds this opinion about Body Language Mastery I like to go through a quick but powerful exercise.

I ask the person, "Please list at least five things you have done today, OK? I promise to illustrate to you how your reading and decoding Body Language impacted each of those activities. Agreed?"

When they tell me their activities, I write each activity on a separate piece of flip chart paper, leaving plenty of room on the paper for later on in the exercise.

Here’s a typical list from a Body Language skeptic:

1. I woke up

2. I ate breakfast

3. I drove to the post office

4. I stopped to pick up coffee

5. I came to this body language and business skills seminar

Come back tomorrow and I'll show you where the powerful persuasion is in each activity, ok?

For more articles right now on Persuasion, Influence, and How to Increase Your Sales in 2009, go now to:

www.KevinHogan.com

Reading Body Language with REGULATING

2008-11-08T12:18:00.001-08:00

Reading Body Language with REGULATING

By Kevin Hogan
Reading Body Language Expert

Regulating – This category of reading body language contains non-verbal body language signals and behaviors that regulate or pace the communication of your message. It has applications in social settings, at the bar between the body language men and body language women in the context of sex body language, as well as, in a business context.

Body Language Regulating might be used to indicate when you are ready to move from one topic to another topic, or to transition smoothly to another person’s chance to speak. Regulating behaviors help to moderate and control the communication between and among multiple people with body language reading and signaling.

For instance, if you are leading the roundtable segment of a team meeting you might nod, turn, and gesture to the next person at the table when it is his or her turn to speak. Some people are not very good at regulating behaviors and aren't decoding body language or interpreting body language expressed by regulating well. Instead, they interrupt before another person is finished speaking, or they talk constantly without allowing input from others.

Click here for more on >>> reading body language and the complete Reading Body Language Self-Mastery Homestudy Course from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan.

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - How your body language influence communication - Regulating

2008-11-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - How your body language influence communication - Regulating

By Kevin Hogan
Reading Body Language Expert

Another interesting reading body language category to consider is Regulating. Regulating in Body Language can be found in business and romance scenarios.

Regulating – This body language reading and decoding category contains non-verbal behaviors that regulate or pace the communication of a message.

Some examples?

It might be used to indicate when you are ready to move from one topic to another topic.

You can also see and use regulating to transition smoothly to another person’s chance to speak.

Regulating behaviors help to moderate and control the communication between and among multiple people.

So what does this all really mean? What are the practical applications of body language and nonverbal communication? The practical applications are nearly limitless, and quite often they are used subconsciously rather than deliberately. Some people are just ‘naturals’ when it comes to the effective use of body language in everyday life, while others struggle with how to learn it and use it well.

Some common examples of when and where non-verbal communication applies to the real world include the following:

· Office

· Selling

· Negotiations

· Job interviews

· Persuasive discussions

· Client/vendor interactions

· Walking through the grocery store

· Meetings

· Politics

· Hiring

· Intimacy

· Friendship

· Parenting

· Working with animals

· Business meetings

· Real estate showings

· Meal time

· Running errands

· Parent teacher conferences

· Shopping

· Group leadership

· Sports activities

· Vacation planning

Indeed, this list could go on and on and on! The reality is that non-verbal body language communication is part of everything you do every day. Your personal nonverbal communication influences everyone around you…and they, you.

There is no way to avoid it – and why would you want to? Body language is one of the most powerful components of the communication process, and you have the choice of how you use it. You can leave it to your subconscious or actively learn to apply it.

Choose the more active path of learning because that holds the greatest potential for making all aspects of your life richer, more interesting, more productive, and more effective.

For instance, if you are leading the roundtable segment of a team meeting you might nod, turn, and gesture to the next person at the table when it is his or her turn to speak. Some people are not very good at regulating behaviors; they interrupt before another person is finished speaking, or they talk constantly without allowing input from others.

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - How your body language influence communication - Accenting and Moderating

2008-10-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - How your body language influence communication - Accenting and Moderating

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Reading Expert

Accenting/Moderating – This category of reading body language captures the kinds of non-verbal communication designed to enhance a verbal message. Which makes it very interesting then for decoding and interpreting body language. Indeed, accenting and moderating might serve to amplify a particular point and emphasize it more. Alternatively, accenting and moderating body language might serve to moderate or to soften a particular point. Either way, this type of body language adds depth and nuance to a message.

For instance, if you are angry with a co-worker, you might accent your body language message with your adding a pointing gesture, a frown, and a shake of your head. Here reading your body language allows the other person know you are quite serious about your anger and want them to get the message very clearly. Your non-verbal communication stresses that aspect to your body language message.

However, if you are only correcting a minor mistake made by an employee, you might to moderate the message of reading your body language with a palm up gesture, a reassuring smile, or a pat on the shoulder to communicate with your body language your encouragement. Your adding this is not lying body language or deceptive body language. Instead, you are softening and moderating your verbal message with your non-verbal encouraging body language. When you do this, it lets the other person know you are serious about wanting the mistake corrected, but it also softens your body language message a bit so he or she understands it’s not the end of the world, just a mistake and a learning experience.

For the complete Body Language Reading Mastery Home Study Course with Reading Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

Reading Body Language - How Powerful a Secret is it?

2008-10-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - Just How Powerful a Secret is it?

By Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert
Author of The Secret Language of Business

It is quite difficult to underestimate the power of body language... but people often do. Indeed, those who pretend to be experts throw around figures such as 75%, 85%, even 90% when they try to define how much of a message is communicated non-verbally rather than verbally. When they do this, they are striving to appear at body language experts, whether it is about reading body language, the body language of women, the body language of men, interpreting body language, decoding body language and detecting deception in body language, or even lying body language. But in actuality...

It actually the percentage that body language plays in communication differs from context to contextset number or even an “average.” Pretty interesting, isn't that? The bottom line is the power of even the very best verbal communication pales in comparison to the power of body language and non-verbal communication. as well as from individual to individual. There is no

OK, now, why should YOU care about body language?

Stinky people.

They bother me.

Ok, I confess it, here and now.

I am “smell sensitive.”

I can tell someone what they had for lunch, whether they had alcohol, were near a cigarette, which is quite common in Las Vegas, and whether I can stay within meters of them because of their bodies' scent.

So at the conscious and probably nonconscious level, you and I are aware to a greater or lesser degree of scent. However, it causes us to form opinions about people. Interesting? Not even necessarily aware of it... and still we are forming opinions.

But sometimes all of this happens at the nonconscious level…

…and sometimes the result of scientific research is a little scary.

For the Complete Home Study Course in Reading Body Language from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication - Substituting, Love?

2008-10-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication - Substituting, Love?

By Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert

Substituting – This category is for reading body language used in a scenario when a person does not want to use verbal communication.

When might that be?

Perhaps the words are too hard to say out loud?

Or maybe saying them would create a conflict or confrontation?

When that is the situation, substituting non-verbal behavior for the words can get the message across in a way that is more comfortable. How are you interpreting body language then? And what about when it is the body language of a woman vs the body language of a man?

Have you ever encountered an acquaintance in the grocery store that starts talking and then just keeps talking?

When that happens, chances are you first try to disengage yourself from the conversation using your body language. But how are they at analyzing and decoding body language? Were they immune to reading body language from you?

Perhaps you started glancing away from the other person... Or maybe you turn your body and/or take a step or two away.

If the other person is not decoding body language message, you might have to resort to saying “I have to go now” or something similar. But you’d rather not have to do that. You would rather substitute non-verbal communication to end the conversation.

Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication, Conflicting & Repeating

2008-10-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication

by Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert to the BBC and other international media.

Repeating – Non-verbal behavior often serves to repeat what is being said verbally.

When you ask your spouse to put down the bag of groceries on the table, do you point to the table during or after you speak? If so, that’s repeating.

The act of pointing (non-verbal) repeats the request (verbal) of where to put the groceries.

Conflicting – This is one of the biggest and most varied categories of non-verbal behavior.

Here's the example: When you tell your friend the cake she baked is delicious (verbal) but your eyes dart away (non-verbal), that’s conflicting. Are you gasping in recognition?

Conflicting body language is a bright, flashing indicator when you lie, feel nervous, disagree, or otherwise feel trapped or ambivalent about something. When verbal and non-verbal elements are in conflict, the person receiving the communication will usually give more credibility to the non-verbal behavior.

What is even more fascinating, though, is that we interpret conflicting information based in part on how easy or how hard it is to fake the particular non-verbal behavior.

Example? A child might say she has a stomachache... and is unable to take out the garbage. The parents deception detection kicks in. Is this lying body language? The true body language of a stomachache is hard to “fake” – pale color, clammy skin, and perhaps a fever or general discomfort for an extended period of time. Most parents will be skeptical from the start, only starting to believe her when it becomes clear her non-verbal behaviors are genuine, real symptoms.

Want to learn more about Reading Body Language from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan?
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Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication

2008-10-13T00:11:00.000-07:00

Decoding Body Language - How body language influences communication

by Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed reading body language expert

In an earlier blog post, I stated that non-verbal and verbal elements of communication couldn’t be completely separated and isolated from the overall communication process.

This is one of the most interesting (and at times frustrating) aspects of studying communication because the potential variations and interactions are so numerous and so diverse that it can be challengingly hard to categorize them in a meaningful, definite way.

When you think solely about body language, reading body language, decoding body language, interpreting body language and how it influences communication, whether women body language or men body language, though, some basic features and functions emerge.

These fall into the following general categories:

· Repeating
· Conflicting
· Complementing
· Substituting
· Accenting/Moderating
· Regulating

Those are forbidding-sounding categories that come straight from the scientific and academic world. I'll explain those with some better ‘real world’ meaning with a few examples in my next blog post.

For the complete Reading Body Language Mastery Home Study Program

Reading Body Language Expert - Why Are You Staring At Me?

2008-10-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Why Are You Staring At Me?

By Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert

When I talk about being a Body Language Expert and Non verbal communication, I am referring to such topics as:
Reading Body Language
Decoding Body Language
Cross Cultural Body Language
Interpreting Body Language
Woman Body Language
Sex Body Language
Man Body Language
Business Body Language
Lying Body Language
Deception Detection
Romantic Body Language

Really, all are included in the topic of Non verbals, non verbal communication mastery, and being a Body Language Expert. Certainly as we face the 2008 Presidential Election, Decision 2008 and will soon cast our vote for John McCain/Sarah Palin's Republican ticket or Barack Obama/Joe Biden's Democratic Party ticket, we want to be considering their body language, and consider, "Is this lying body language?" "What about body language deception detection?" And of course, as you do that, you might be considering casting your vote for the Libertarian Party, Ralph Nadar, or even writing in who you really wanted, like Hillary Clinton.

Reading Body Language - Decoding, Analyzing and Interpreting Body Language
As a studento of reading body language, when you “read” someone, you might see one thing while the person is THINKING of something totally different.

Finally if you utilize all that you read about Body Language Mastery in my articles and other materials, to help you read the nonconscious mind and use the information as a way to predict nonconscious behavior and nonconscious decisions (those that happen quickly and without cognition) you will do much better at “reading people,” and predicting their behavior. You will develop your own Body Language Mastery. People who do this have been know to increase your sales, and even double your sales.

You’ll be able to influence people with confident, ease and poise.

You’ll be able to know what they will do next more often than you might guess. Pretty cool, isn't it?

But will you know what they are “thinking” at the level of conscious thought?

That’s not the best use of accurate body language reading.

Here's a quick example to illustrate what I mean.

Have you ever found yourself staring at someone, then after a minute you “catch yourself” and wonder "WHY am I staring?"

"They aren’t attractive... I'm not even remotely interested in them."

But there you are... burning a hole right through them.

In business you can get in big trouble for such behavior.

But try telling the woman that your nonconscious mind was at work... and you didn’t mean anything by it. Really.

And of course, in this case, that is the truth!

Your nonconscious mind might have been staring because it perceived her as a threat, or because the woman looked like someone else who had some connection with you (typically emotional and not good) in the past. What was her woman body language signalling you? Often her body language or something about her, what she did, or what she wore, when you are decoding her body language and nonverbals, triggered something. You might be worrying that it was sex body language, but that is not always the case when it is men body language and women body language.

You can’t be certain as to “why” the nonconscious mind directs the body to do something. You can only observe the result. Whatever the case was, you learned something. And so did she and they were not necessarily the same things…

Here's >>> The Complete Reading Body Language Expert Homestudy Course

Decoding, Reading, and Interpreting Body Language - Tracing its Roots

2008-10-07T18:22:00.001-07:00

Decoding, Reading, and Interpreting Body Language - Tracing its Roots

The Study of Nonverbal Communication - Tracing Its Roots

By Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed Body Language Expert

The observation and discussion of body language has been around in one form or another since the days of ancient Rome and Greece. Body language and non-verbal behavior is referenced in many varied disciplines, such as anthropology, dance, psychiatry, and sociology. Even Charles Darwin tackled the subject of facial expressions in 1872; many of his thoughts have since been proven by modern researchers.

Body language as a formal area of study first emerged in the post-World War II years. The 1950’s saw the first few in-depth examinations of non-verbal communication and the 1960’s saw an exponential growth in the number and type of formal studies. The discipline continued to grow and change in the 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s, with more growth and discovery happening in the current decade as well.

In the earliest years, researchers focused on body language as specific, separate actions with a single meaning. This gave way over the years to an understanding of body language as a complex aspect of communication where specific actions often have many different meanings depending on context, environment, culture, individual personalities, etc.

Why should you care about the formal study of body language?

It includes such topics as:

Reading Body Language

Decoding Body Language

Cross Cultural Body Language

Interpreting Body Language

Woman Body Language

Sex Body Language

Man Body Language

Business Body Language

Lying Body Language

Deception Detection

Romantic Body Language

Because the information revealed through scientific activities of reading, decoding and interpreting body language is enormously important to every aspect of your everyday life. There is no escaping the power and influence of body language; research and study simply identify and define it in ways that you can apply in the real world.

The problem until now has been a lack of resources to help you understand the scientific side of body language and translate it into practical applications for your life. This book is designed to fill that gap so you can look at non-verbal communication in an entirely new (and practical) way. Then, learn how to utilize that knowledge in an influential manner.

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - Nonverbal Communication Explained

2008-10-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

Decoding, Interpreting Body Language - Nonverbal Communication Explained

By Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert

You might notice that I use the phrases “nonverbal communication” and “body language” almost

interchangeably at times in my writing, articles and books as a Body Language Expert. So let’s define each of these right away.

The fact is that “Body Language” itself is a sub domain of Nonverbal Communication.

Nonverbal Communication is the larger field.

Body Language? Refers to body position, gestures, eye contact and …the body! (No surprise there....)

It includes such topics as:

Reading Body Language

Decoding Body Language

Cross Cultural Body Language

Interpreting Body Language

Woman Body Language

Sex Body Language

Man Body Language

Business Body Language

Lying Body Language

Deception Detection

Romantic Body Language

Nonverbal communication includes those things but also includes how people dress, societal norms on dress and behavior, the jewelry people wear, the tattoo’s people reveal, the distance people stand from me, the way people use time, the way people use space…even the tone and pitch of people’s voices.

The vast majority of all that is communicated is nonverbal. Everything in nonverbal communication has a significant impact on you and me. Most people however live very randomly or live intentionally and then send messages they believe to say one thing…when they really are being received as something else.

And that is why so few people are influential. Almost no one communicates clearly. Misunderstandings abound.

Why?

People were never taught how to use the environment, their desk, the color of their home, their jewelry, their neckline, skirt length, low rider pants, tattoos….to influence.

And when you think about it, that is a shame because the words you and I say are darned important….but the nonverbal communication we “send” and “receive” is waaaaaay more important.

Here ya’ go:

A woman in an office hoping for attention from superiors for the good job she’s been doing yet not getting the promotion… so she starts with the sweater with plunging neckline and so forth.

Attention?

Oh, sure, she gets it.

The Promotion?

Not a chance.

Professional Sales Women
You see, an accumulation of studies shows that women who are in the field of selling (minus the gambling industry - casino’s and resorts) have longer appointments with the decision maker if they DO dress revealingly.

The other result?

They make far fewer sales.

Not the result they wanted, right?

Indeed, Dress is very influential.

The term ‘body language’ is used so much…it’s overused.

One person might speak of woman body language and say, “Her body language was very negative throughout the meeting” while another person might speak of a man body language and say, “His body language was very aggressive and intimidating”. In both cases, however, body language is actually only a portion of the whole communication process that led to a specific conclusion or interpretation about the other person.

And interpretations? The are just as often incorrect as they are correct.

Often we speak of Body Language as if it were a separate and distinct activity, somehow unrelated to other communication characteristics such as words, tone of voice, pacing, volume, and the like. The reality is all of these communication elements work together, and it is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to completely separate them from each other.

Despite the complex interrelationships involved in communication, researchers and scientists have successfully studied its parts and components to produce a much greater understanding of how they work individually and how they work together. Reading Body language, decoding body language, interpreting body language - there are all elements of nonverbal communication are components of communication that are readily observable and measurable, so our knowledge continues to grow at a steady and rapid pace.

You CAN use all the factors you learn about body language mastery to be more influential. You can use everything you learn here to “read” other people, increase your sales, and even double your sales.

Click here now for >>>The complete Body Language Home Study Course from Body Langauge Expert, Kevin Hogan

Reading Body Language Expert - Decoding and Analyzing Body Language in an Academic Environment

2008-10-05T16:02:00.001-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Decoding and Analyzing Body Language in an Academic Environment

By Kevin Hogan
Reading Body Language Expert

Academia

In the academic world, there is a great deal of interaction among and between people with different cultural backgrounds. It is a world where cultures and expectations come together in close quarters and for the purpose of education and study. The pursuit of knowledge, then, is well served when body language and non verbal behaviors are respected and understood. So, how are reading body language in this environment? How are you interpreting, analyzing and decoding body language in the Academic environment? Will you be a body language expert? Or will you commit a faux pas?

Among faculty members, respect for differences is vital for success and focus within and among departments. When professors of different cultural backgrounds work closely together they have an opportunity to learn from each other and influence each other’s perspectives.

For instance, I know of a university where the new chair of the communications department was from Japan. He had the credentials and prestige for the position he held, but his cultural background created some initial difficulties for his interactions with department faculty. Faculty meetings prior to his arrival had been casual, open, and sometimes even a bit raucous when the group was enthusiastic about something. The departmental body language was very Western, in particular, their body language talks was very American.

From a Japanese cultural perspective, however, this type of atmosphere was completely foreign.

So, he struggled to lead and direct discussion during the meetings because his non verbal behavior body language of nodding when others spoke was interpreted as agreement rather than respect. What he wanted to communicate was respect. In decoding and interpreting body language, reading Japanese Body Language, he was quite naturally body language speaking - Respect. But not to American's perspective on reading and decoding body language. What that deception body language? Was he expressing lying body language? No, his body language was completely consistent with the Japanese culture and Japanese Body Language.

When he later expressed his own opinions and decisions that ran counter to what was discussed, faculty members often were up-in-arms over what they perceived as mixed messages. It took concerted effort and understanding for the department to smooth out cultural and country differences in decoding body language and non-verbal communication perceptions.

Want to increase your own ability with Body Language?

Click here now for The Complete Body Language Reading Home Study Course from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan.

Reading Body Language Expert - Election 2008

2008-10-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Election 2008

By Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert

Politics and The Election - 2008

Body language and non verbal behaviors are integral to successful politics - whether it is the 2008 Presidential Election or your office. How will that affect John McCain and Sarah Palin's team? and Barack Obama and Joe Biden's team?

At the Office
In the corporate world of office politics, those who are trying to impress the boss are likely to smile at and lean toward the boss when he or she is speaking. They will try to grab a seat at the table as close as possible to the boss, and will make an extra effort to make conversation and take an interest in the things that the boss deems important.

In terms of governments and the politicians who run for elected office, they literally could not be elected if they were not skilled at using body language and non verbal behaviors to promote themselves.

As an example, picture a candidate walking through a group of people, smiling and shaking hands along the way. We've all that before, haven't we? Do you think the candidate is really that happy to see those people and intensely interested in meeting all of them individually? Probably not. Instead, the politician is consciously leveraging the power of body language to create the image of being a friendly person who truly cares about the needs of each individual person.

In politics and the presidential election, there is no room for grumpiness, aloofness, or the ‘cold shoulder’ when it comes to campaigning for elected office.

Presidential campaigns in the United States are particularly intriguing to observe in terms of reading body language. The candidates endure grueling schedules of fund raisers and campaign stops, yet you will never see one showing signs of being tired or worn down. They make a concerted effort to put on a happy, energetic face. Additionally, they also have aides and assistants who make sure their hair and makeup looks fresh rather than tired. During primary season the pace of campaigning is frenetic and candidates are actively competing with each other for their party’s nomination, so they will take great pains to appear vigorous and enthusiastic.

Decoding and Interpreting Body Language - How the Body Language of Politicians Change After the Primary Season
Once the primary season is over and the major parties have selected their candidates, the pace of campaigning is still frenetic but the decoding body language and non verbal behaviors change somewhat. The emphasis turns to interpreting body language that portrays strength, leadership, and patriotism. Each candidate wants voters to see him or her acting ‘presidential’ as a way to help influence how they cast their vote. It all comes to a climax on election night when the winner is announced; he or she comes before the cameras to make a statement as president-elect and the body language changes tremendously. There is a more regal bearing, confident and measured movements, and a concerted effort to act the way a president is expected to act.

The days of easy laughter and relaxed communication are gone, replaced with days of intense scrutiny and interpretation of every movement and expression.

For complete coverage of click here>>> The Body Language Complete Home Study Course

Covering such topics as:

Diplomancy in Reading Body Language?

2008-10-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

Reading, Decoding, and Interpreting Body Language in Diplomacy Situations

By Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed Body Language Expert

Reading, Decoding and Interpreting Body Language in Diplomacy

Awareness of body language and non verbal behaviors is an important part of diplomacy, regardless of whether it takes place between different countries or between two people who have a contentious relationship. Reading, decoding, and interpreting body language is a very important part of the field of diplomacy. Being skilled in it is essential.

Knowing the appropriateness of different body language and accurately interpreting and decoding the non verbal behaviors and body language of someone else can truly mean the difference between success and failure in situations where diplomacy is required.

In the modern international world, great attention and care is taken to accommodate and bridge cultural differences among world leaders when they meet. There are whole teams of protocol and pre event personnel who go over every detail of an interaction to ensure nothing is missed, mismanaged, or misunderstood.

Body Language Protocol Teams were particularly important during the Cold War years when the United States and Europe regularly squared off against the Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc countries. Even the slightest hint of a misperception could have significant, dramatic, and lasting consequences in an environment where both sides had nuclear weapons pointed at each other and standing ready for use. The effects of body language ignorance could have been... devasting.

Reading Body Language Across Cultures
In terms of negotiations and interactions between individuals, there is a huge potential for misunderstanding when two people have different cultural expectations for body language and non verbal behaviors.

Just as an example, if a person from Italy and a person from Germany meet to discuss a contentious issue, both need to be aware of each other’s common body language. The Italian likely communicates with a great deal of hand and arm movement. In the EU, the German will likely find the Italian's more expressive and gesticulating body language to be extremely rude and perhaps even intimidating.

However, on the flip side, the German’s cultural tendency to show very little body movement and interact in a very structured and disciplined manner is likely to appear cold and inflexible to the Italian.

The more contentious the issue, the more these differences potentially affect the outcome and the effectiveness of diplomacy efforts.

Professional mediators spend a great deal of time learning about and practicing their body language and non verbal behaviors. They must be fluent in reading body language, interpreting body language, and decoding body language. They must know and control what their own body language is speaking to others according to their cultures. Their role as objective intermediary charged with reaching a fair agreement means they must not reveal anything about their own thoughts or which side of a disagreement. They must know how to detect deception, reading lying body language and control their own body language.

Click here now >>> The Complete Body Language Homestudy Course

Reading and Decoding Body Language Expert - Interpeting Business Body Language to Double Your Sales

2008-10-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

Reading and Decoding Body Language Expert - Interpeting Business Body Language to Double Your Sales

By Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert

Covering such topics as:

body language expert

decoding body language

interpreting body language

lying body language

men body language

reading body language

sex body language

women body language

Yes, you'll need to learn about all of those to leverage reading body language in business and seeking to increase and double your sales.

Business

The business world has long been an arena where body language and non verbal behaviors created all sorts of interesting situations. So, business makes for an especially interesting environment to practice your reading body language, decoding body language, and interpreting body language skills.

Two business people negotiating the price or details of a transaction display plenty of body language in action. Each will likely start with very conservative, controlled facial expressions and body position so as not to ‘tip off’ the other person to what they really think or want. As the negotiations proceed and the two parties come to an agreement, their body language will become more relaxed and comfortable.

Body Language in Job Interviews
Interviewing for a job offers another area of the business world where body language and non verbal behaviors play an important and very interesting role.

What should you know? In the present economy with Economic Bailouts and Lehman Brothers folding, interviewing skills will be highly useful for a lot of people.

The job applicant who walks in the room with confidence, makes good eye contact, and sits with an open body position is likely to be perceived much more positively than the job applicant who walks hesitantly, avoids eye contact, and sits with a closed or nervous body position.

Body Language Across Cultures
In terms of business across cultures, you can look back centuries to the earliest explorers who visited new lands to trade goods and encountered cultures with vastly different body language norms.

Reading Body Language in Japan

Some of the greatest clashes occurred when Western explorers first reached Japan.

Japanese Body Language is Formal and Structured

The Japanese were very formal and structured in their interactions, with a great deal of attention given to proper bowing and submissive behaviors based on rank and status.

Western Body Language is more Relaxed

Western explorers did not understand or appreciate the importance of this and often ridiculed what they perceived as inferior customs and practices.

It is only in recent decades that Western cultures have paid attention to being more culturally sensitive and accommodating of diverse people. Where a business person from the United States might have previously been oblivious to the importance of bowing and nodding in Asian countries, in modern times that business person is likely to make an effort to learn and become familiar with Asian customs before traveling there.

Indeed, successful multinational companies regularly provide training and education to employees who travel to different countries. This is especially important and stressed if those employees will be actually living in a different country. Such cross-cultural body language reading training is vital for both business and personal success when moving into a different culture. Hmmm, sort of like, don't leave home without it.....

Click here for >>>> The complete Body Language Reading Home Study Course

Reading Body Language Expert - Follow the Politicians

2008-10-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Follow the Politicians

by Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed Body Language Expert

One of the applications to leverage I recommend to Reading Body Language students of The Body Language Home Study Course is to practice by observing, decoding, and interpreting body language of politicians.

So, for example, when you watched the Vice Presidential debate this evening, what did you observe in the body language of Governor Sarah Palin? How was her body language, the body language of women, different than the body language of Senator Joe Biden? How did that contrast, his body language of a man?

You can practice this during the remaining 2 debates, or you can simply select a politician at any level of government – city, county, state, or national – and watch what he or she does in terms of body language and non verbal behaviors.

What body language do you observe... most often?

What effect does that body language have?

Since it is in the thick of campaign season right now, how would you expect the body language to change when the election is over? (You'll want to write your answers down and then go observe again in 6 months and in about 12 months. How has the body language and nonverbal communications changed in that time?)

If it were not campaign season for this particular politician whom you chose to observe, how might you expect the body language to change when it comes times to run for re-election?

Interesting, isn't it?

For more body language expert articles and advise, click here now>>> Body Language Expert

Reading Body Language Expert - Practicing Body Language Skills

2008-10-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Practicing Body Language Skills
Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, answers questions about reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion.

Body Language expert, Kevin Hogan, recommends when you are studying and reading body language, one of the best ways to become a body language expert and to build your own body language reading skills is..... PRACTICE

In particular, share what you are learning with other people. Talk about what you learn in reading body language, sex body language, the body language of women vs. the body language of men, and practice your own interpreting and decoding body language with someone else, such as one of your friends, a relative, your peers, or colleague, like your sales team.

Solicit their thoughts and perspectives on the various topics and get them to share their own experiences in the real world. It’s a great way to spend a coffee break or lunch hour, not to mention the added learning you will both take away with you. Better than just grabbing a coffee on a nosh, now you have some excellent content for your conversation that could just double your sales!

Reading Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, Discusses HOW YOUR PASSION EMERGES

2008-09-27T16:34:00.001-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, Discusses HOW YOUR PASSION EMERGES

by Kevin Hogan

It's fun being interviewed as an internationally acclaimed Body Language Expert because the media ask me about such topics as reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion. Talking about love, s*ex, romance, passion, and love are always interesting topics, aren't they?

How Passion Emerges
These are the other things we become passionate about...if they are ever created in the first place. For most people, they never are...because people "looked" where they needed to be creating and building.

Fresh passion can be powerful. Most often it develops when you are creating. Building a house, writing a book, painting, making something that wasn't before. A new business. Even a new job that has things that you like to do.

But more often passion is about creating and then being proud of that creation, defending that creation, seeing it as an improvement on other similar things to it "out there."

It is here that the burning desire is lit. The flames are fanned when you have invested your self into the process of creation or growing or building and soon it becomes *part of your identity.* Then "it" is a "front page item" in your life.

Once lit, the burning desire will do just that. It burns. It burns hot. There is no self motivational affirmation that will make it grow hotter...or cool it down.

Does the woman who is "pro life" need affirmations to increase her passion about her belief? Her identity? What about the woman who is "pro-choice"? Does she need daily affirmations to improve her passion about her belief? Her identity?

Passion comes from identity and identity, with rare exception, is generated in one of the four
ways mentioned earlier.

For the person who aspires to some level of greatness or achievement, passion is what makes the car go....what makes the body move.

Click here now to learn more about Reading Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan's, Homestudy CD and web-interactive Body Language Expert Program.

Reading Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - Asks, What's more powerful, romantic love or sex?

2008-09-26T15:04:00.001-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - Asks, What's more powerful, romantic love or sex?

by Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed body language expert, Kevin Hogan, answers questions about reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion. Now what about sex body language, sexual arousal, and romantic love, relating to women body language, and men body language?

A Surprise Discovery

Another important discovery, Brown said, was that "to our surprise, intense romantic love were mostly on the right side of the brain, while the activation regions associated with facial attractiveness were mostly on the left.

Remember also from my work and other neuroscientists, we've found that there's a lot more on the right side. The emotions. Especially negative emotions of anger, sadness, contempt, grief....Think about the ramifications as those emotions sit in the same chair as ROMANTIC LOVE. Mix negative emotions and romantic love, and you can get some PRETTY BAD and SCARY scripts. Remember, we're not talking about sex here. We're talking about addiction and motivation to get reward in the same car with ANGER, FEAR, GRIEF. What does that equal? Right.... criminal court in bad cases....

"We didn't predict such a striking lateralization," Brown reported. "It is well known that speech is largely a left-sided cortical function. But our data indicate that lateralization also occurs in lower parts of the brain. Moreover, different kinds of rewards (in this case, the "rush" of romantic love, compared with the pleasing experience of looking at a pretty or handsome face) is also lateralized. These results give us a lot to think about how the normal human brain learns and remembers and functions in general," Brown added.

What's more powerful, romantic love or sex?

Now there's an intriguing question!

Click here now to pick up>>> The Body Language Home Study Course.

Reading Body Langauge Expert - Love is a Motivational Addiction (so says the brain)

2008-09-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Langauge Expert - Love is a Motivational Addiction (so says the brain)

by Kevin Hogan

Reading Body Language, best selling author

Internationally acclaimed body language expert, Kevin Hogan, answers questions about reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion.

Now what about sex body language, sexual arousal, and romantic love, relating to women body language, and men body language?

So what IS Love? Yes, philosophers and poets have been trying to answer that question for centuries....

Love is a Motivational Addiction (so says the brain)

Aron reported that, using (fMRI) and other measurements, he and his colleagues found support for their two major predictions:

(1) early stage, intense romantic love is associated with subcortical reward regions rich with dopamine;

and (2) romantic love engages brain systems associated with motivation to acquire a reward. Brown explains some of these findings, commenting that "when our participants looked at a photo of his/her beloved, specific activation occurred in the right ventral tegmental area (VTA) and dorsal caudate body. These regions were significant compared to two control conditions, providing strong evidence that these brain areas, which are associated with the motivation to win rewards, are central to the experience of being in love."

In plain English that simply means that "being in love," is roughly identical to the motivation to achieve/acquire reward. (Addiction/motivation.)

Back in 1986 when Robert Palmer sang, "Might as well face it, you're addicted to love..." ...was he right?

Reading Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - More On ROMANTIC LOVE and Sexual Arousal

2008-09-26T14:45:00.001-07:00

Reading Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - More On ROMANTIC LOVE and Sexual Arousal
by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, answers questions about reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion.

What else can we learn?

Brown noted that "an important concept is that the caudate probably integrates huge amounts of information, everything from early personal memories to one's personal notions of beauty. Then, this brain region (and related regions of the basal ganglia) helps to direct one's actions toward attaining one's goals. For neuroscientists," she said, "these findings about the diverse regional functions of the basal ganglia in humans have remarkable implications."

Now, for those of you familiar with my work about nonverbal communication and reading body language and how to position people when you communicate with them....you're going to find this intensely exciting. For those of you unaware of my early research here in the field of reading body language, you can now pick up The Body Language Home Study Course. I cover such diverse topics as

reading body language
sex body language
women body language
men body language
decoding body language
interpreting body language
and how those relate to Business, Doubling your sales, Romance, Love, and Emotion.

Body Language Expert - Arousal and Reading Body Language, from Kevin Hogan

2008-09-25T16:25:00.001-07:00

Body Language Expert - Arousal and Reading Body Language

By Kevin Hogan

Internationally acclaimed body language expert

Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, answers questions about reading body language, sex body language, women body language, men body language, decoding and interpreting body language and how those relate to Romance, Love, and Emotion.

Now what about sex body language, sexual arousal, and romantic love, relating to women body language, and men body language?

Sexual Arousal versus Romantic Love

Now there's an interesting topic, isn't it?

Aron further added: "Our participants who measured very high on a self report questionnaire of romantic love also showed strong activity in a particular brain region -- results that dramatically increase our confidence that self-report questionnaires can actually measure brain activity." Aron also noted that the research answered the "historic question of whether love and sex are the same, or different, or whether romantic passion is just warmed over sexual arousal."

He delineates, "Our findings show that the brain areas activated when someone looks at a photo of their beloved only partially overlap with the brain regions associated with sexual arousal. Sex and romantic love involve quite different brain systems."

So, Sexual Desire and Sexual Arousal are NOT the same as Romantic Love.

The sex drive and the desire to love and bond are actually two different things.

Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - Speaks Out on LOVE

2008-09-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert - Kevin Hogan - Speaks Out on LOVE

By Kevin Hogan

Reading Body Language Expert

Question: So is Love an Emotion?

What he's saying is that Romantic Love is NOT an emotion.

Instead, it is something that is associated with emotions that DIFFER from person to person. The common thread of Romantic Love is the reward and motivation network activation in the brain. (Addiction/pleasure)

"As it turns out, romantic love is probably best characterized as a motivation or goal-oriented state that leads to various specific emotions, such as euphoria or anxiety," Aron noted.

"With this view, it becomes clearer why the lover expresses such an imperative to pursue his or her beloved and protect the relationship."

(The lover is addicted. And again, I don't use that word in a bad light. You could used "magnetized," perhaps.)

Body Language Expert on FINDING LOVE

2008-09-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert on FINDING LOVE

You just can't tell where you might find love these days

By Kevin Hogan, Reading Body Language Expert

You just can't tell where you might find love these days...

A team led by a neuroscientist, an anthropologist and a social psychologist found love-related neurophysiological systems inside ... a magnetic resonance imaging machine.

They detected quantifiable love responses in the brains of 17 young men and women who each described themselves as being newly and madly in love.

The multidisciplinary team found that early, intense romantic love may have more to do with motivation, reward and "drive" aspects of human behavior than with the emotions or sex drive. Brain systems were activated that humans share with other mammals. So the researchers think "early-stage romantic love is possibly a developed form of a mammalian drive to pursue preferred mates, and that it has an important influence on social behaviors that have reproductive and genetic consequences."

Stalking behavior and the behavior that happens after love at first sight are all pretty much the same as finding your next diet Coke, the next crossword puzzle (if that works for you), the next sniff, etc.

Diverse emotions occur, but the reward response is primary here.

"It's a stark reminder that the mind truly is in the brain," noted Lucy L. Brown of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. "We humans are built to experience magical feelings like love, but our findings don't diminish the magic in any way. In fact, for some, it enhances the experience. Our research also helps to explain why a person in love feels 'driven' to win their beloved, amidst a whole constellation of other feelings."

[The study, entitled "Reward, motivation and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love," is available online and is in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, published by the American Physiological Society. The research was conducted by Arthur Aron, Helen E. Fisher, Debra J. Mashek, Greg Strong, Hai-Fang Li and Lucy L. Brown. Aron, Fisher and Brown contributed equally.]

"Most of the participants in our study clearly showed emotional responses," noted Arthur Aron of the State University of New York-Stony Brook, "but we found no consistent emotional pattern. Instead, all of our subjects showed activity in reward and motivation regions." This is pretty exciting, to emotion researchers like me, because it's the first physiological data to confirm a connection between romantic love and motivation networks in the human brain.

What's that mean? Is love the same as stalking? Is love an addiction?

Body Language Expert on SEX DRIVE and Rejection

2008-09-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert on SEX DRIVE and Rejection
By Kevin Hogan
Internationally acclaimed Body Langauge Expert

With that fascinating new research on how "the desire for sex" and "romantic love" are happening on opposite sides of the brain, it's riveting to consider sexual rejection will trigger the emotions of anger, contempt and/or sadness.

The Drive to Kill

However, many WILL kill when they are rejected where the feeling is romantic love and not the sex drive being attended to.

The distinction is sharp. The sex drive is POWERFUL.

In my estimation, the second most important of the 16 core desires in humans. The motivation and reward of romantic love, however is fiercely strong, and often dwarfs the sex drive.

In other words, most people can handle, "no" to sex. Most people can't handle, "No, I don't love you" or "I don't love you anymore."

One hurts... the other often leads to criminal court.

The ramifications for all of this are enormous.

Consider attraction, seduction, stalking, autism, love, sex, romantic feelings... and they all are interwoven into the research that you will now get a chance to see here for the first time.

New...for you.

Interesting, isn't it?

Body Language Expert - Love, Passion, and Attraction

2008-09-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert - Love, Passion, and Attraction
By Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

The Difference Between Sex and Love

Now, before you get concerned that "the desire for sex" and "romantic love" are the same thing as far as the feelings they generate inside someone, I'll save you the internal struggle...they aren't.

There is a small and significant overlap to be sure.

But they are quite different!

And here is more fascinating news:

The sensation of Romantic Love and the sensations of Attractiveness are "stored" and "retrieved" on opposite sides of the brain!

When taken with the work I discovered about anxiety and feelings of liking 7 years ago at the University of St. Thomas Management Center and later shared in The Body Language Home Study Program...some amazing things all started to fall into place.

Helen Fisher has summed it up well (and I'm paraphrasing her findings here) when it comes to matching what we experience and what the new images of the brain reveal in specific situations.

We won't get depressed and kill because someone won't have sex with us.

That will cause emotions of anger, contempt and/or sadness.

And that's quite interesting, isn't it?

Body Language Expert - Love at First Sight?

2008-09-23T15:20:00.001-07:00

Body Language Expert - Love at First Sight?
By Kevin Hogan, Reading Body Language Expert

Finally our third parallel path....New research sheds light on nonverbal communication, including reading body language, that optimizes sending and interpreting and decoding messages that you may never have previously understood. As an internationally acclaimed Body Language Expert, I get asked a LOT of interesting reading body language questions, including those about seduction, *sex*, and women body language and men body language. Pretty interesting stuff.

Far closer to an "addiction" than an emotion, "love" begins to make sense when you shift what you currently think about "love"...what it has meant to you... and then to consider what the research shows... so you understand how it works, relates to sex, attraction, desire, and yes, seduction.

Love at First Sight? Let's start at something we've all experienced, now, isn't it?

Love at first sight. We all have stories. Some have happy endings, others finish more like the Amityville Horror. Many if not all, have felt "love at first sight."

Based on current neuroscience research just released, it appears that love at first sight is most accurately described as... seeing, identifying, confirming, and targeting the "preferred mate."
Now that doesn't sound "romantic," or what The Beatles sang about as "love," but it certainly can be romantic..., and it can be not-so romantic as well!

Read the definition again and then read on.

Once seen, identified, confirmed and targeted...it is then that the preferred mate becomes an object of competition. In some respects, the one seeing the target sees that person much as a caffeine addict does a cup of coffee or Diet Coke...a reward for what could rapidly become an addiction.

In fact, there is no difference between "stalking" and the pursuit of love after first sight.

At least not in the newly "addicted" individual. (This addiction is not necessarily a bad addiction. Certainly many addictions are useful and not harmful.) The research, which I will unveil for you in a moment, reveals that "love" feelings vary from person to person but using advanced brain scanning technology one thing is the same for everyone.... The sight of the "preferred mate," lights up the motivation and reward centers of the brain like a Christmas tree.

Could it possibly be "true" that stalking and love are essentially the same thing?

Reading Body Language of Stalking and Seduction

2008-09-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language of Stalking and Seduction

by Kevin Hogan
The best selling author of The Psychology of Persuasion

Love is a MOTIVATION. Love is not an EMOTION.

There are seven basic and fundamental emotions.

And Love is nowhere to be found.

Pause and think about that for a second. Love, like "happiness," has definitions that are all up for grabs. Emotions are clear cut. I feel "fear" and YOU KNOW what that means. I feel "sadness" and you KNOW what that means. I say "love" or "happy" and you really don't have a clue what

I'm feeling...

Interesting?

I'll be back here in a second.

Let's set up a parallel path to walk on here.

Today I want to share with you some recent research about stalking, seduction, and "love"...where they intersect and where they are...the same...and where they are different. Not for the feint of heart!

Body Language Expert asks, Stalking -The Seduction to Love?

2008-09-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert asks, Stalking -The Seduction to Love?
By Kevin Hogan
Reading Body Language Expert

What is Love?

And if that isn't hard enough to answer, what is seduction; is it OK to experience - and then the toughest of all...is stalking a bad thing...or is it a good thing?

I was tempted to talk about how everyday citizens of the United States were now being obligated to bail out bankers in addition to bond holders of mortgage companies....but it made me ill thinking about it...so I figured I'd "break the state of madness" completely... with some of the most controversial and complex questions facing a politically correct society in 2008.

There are a few interesting things people like to talk about when they interview me. Body language, persuasion, attraction, sexuality and love.

Most people mistake "love" for an emotion, much like say "fear" or "anger." But of course, it's nothing of the kind.

Love is a MOTIVATION, not an EMOTION.

There are seven basic and fundamental emotions. They include:

Joy
Contentment
Anger
Fear
Surprise
Sadness
Contempt

Love is nowhere to be found.

Reading and Decoding Body Language - from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

2008-09-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

Reading and Decoding Body Language - from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan
by Kevin Hogan, Reading Body Language Expert

Click here now for Kevin Hogan, Body Language expert >>>Kevin Hogan's Reading Body Language home study cd course<<<

Question: Had a thought...Do you keep "a book" on people? What about women? If so, do you review them often? Only before you speak to them? Important clients only? friends too? family? What kind of notes? Metaprograms? their primary sensory modality? Do they have a profile? Do you use a software?

IF NOT...Do you think it'd be a good idea? Perhaps if you're in the dating scene, keep notes on a girl so you remember her likes/dislikes and what stories she's shared with you (if you are dating a few girls at a time to get to know them).
Sorry if that seems like a machine gun of questions, they just kept coming to me. You are the MAN by the way. Just a reminder.........Hope I made ya smile, Kevin...

Answer: When I was in direct sales, I kept an extensive note card system that detailed information about client's correct spelling of their names, pronunciation, every contact number I got in touch with people with, anything they said that was remotely interesting or memorable that I could talk about the following year, to build rapport. Every now and then I might use moving toward/away or polarity/matching experiences but generally I focused on what I would experience on the telephone in that critical 1 minute, (sometimes 2 minutes!) call. I never shared stories I could tell because I rarely ever told stories outside of a few stories I told almost everyone.

I was 100% in the customer's mind. Whether I was selling advertising, fundraising, memberships to the State Chamber of Commerce...didn't matter. I talked as little as I could. I asked a LOT of questions and I had people "open up" with/to me. I seriously wanted to learn what people really thought and did. I asked people how they got into and built their business. And I followed up....a lot.

Keeping a book on women might be a good idea. (cool!)

It's something that never entered my mind. My initial thinking says that if one can't remember if the gal is a polarity responder that moves away from more than toward....that the relationship won't last... and if you don't actually remember, would you really want to hang out with her (again) anyway?

Click here now for Kevin Hogan, Body Language expert >>>Kevin Hogan's Reading Body Language home study cd course<<<

Reading Body Language of Politicians - Deciding Factors in Decision 2008 Presidential Election

2008-09-19T12:21:00.001-07:00

Reading Body Language of Politicians - Deciding Factors in Decision 2008 Presidential Election
by Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

Question: Given your well-rounded expertise, what do you think will be the deciding factors for the winning Presidential ticket this November 2008? Since many of the polls leading to the last 2 elections inaccurately predicted the winning ticket, what trends would you evaluate to give you a sense for the outcome?

Answer: This election has the third party factor. Much as Nader gave Bush the election and Ross Perot did the same for Clinton. If Nader runs that will be offset by the Ron Paul supporters. If Nader doesn't make a noisy run, then Obama has a decent chance of winning, mostly because of Ron Paul. Barring 3rd party influence, visionary candidates like Obama, do well EARLY in the race. Detail guys like McCain do well in the month prior to election and election day.

The Biden/Palin Vice Presidential debate will actually be important from a perception point of view. Biden has an encyclopedia of knowledge and experience that would theoretically dwarf Palin.

BUT, it isn't just knowledge, it's about trust and IDENTITY.

WHO does the VOTER identify with.

Although Obama would have been wiser (by far) to choose Clinton for a running mate, sort of the no-brainer of the century; Biden is someone Americans will like and identify with, certainly more than they will Obama.

Identity is about stereotype, prejudice, similarities, differences and gut feelings that aren't necessarily "accurate." Black, white, male, female, tall, short, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, Christian, Buddhist.

Voter identity has never been so distinct as it has in this election. Generally, IDENTITY trumps everything except the SURVIVAL instinct.

My guess is that McCain/Palin are easier to identify with than Obama/Biden. Therefore the uncommitteds, barring 3rd party, should lean to McCain/Palin. No 3rd party and no major screw ups by any of the 4 players would give an election to McCain/Palin by 1-3%. That said, in the United States we have an electoral college that could easily swing another way, even if one candidate wins the popular vote.

Reading Body Language Questions ANSWERED!

2008-09-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language Questions ANSWERED! by Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan, selects your decoding body language questions from his eMail bag and answers questions about reading body language, women body language, and men body language.

Body Language Question: What does it say about a person psychologically who holds both hands with palms towards you in front of their chest and/or the sides of their chest?

Answer: That's a pretty overtly defensive posturing. A double barrelled stop sign. Usually a lot of anger wrapped up in that. Sides of chest is sort of exasperation, "I give up," or "Don't look at me."

Lying Body Language, Detecting Liars, Japanese Better?

2008-09-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

Lying Body Language, Detecting Liars, Are the Japanese Better?

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

When it comes to Reading Body Language and Detecting Liars, are the Japanese better at doing so? Are the Japanese better at Decoding Body Language of Liars?

Do the Japanese Have a Cultural Advantage in Detecting Liars?
In University of Alberta researcher Dr. Takahiko Masuda interesting study, the results suggest the interesting possibility that the Japanese may be better than Americans at detecting "false smiles."

If the position of the eyes is the key to whether someone's smile is false or true, Japanese may be particularly good at detecting whether someone is lying or being "fake." However, these questions can only be answered with future research.

Dr. Masuda's research has uncovered that culture is certainly a determining factor when interpreting facial emotions. The study demonstrates that in cultures where emotional control is the standard, such as Japan, focus is placed on the eyes to interpret emotions. Whereas in cultures where emotion is openly expressed, such as the United States, the focus is on the mouth to interpret emotion.

Across two studies, using computerized icons and human images, the researchers compared how Japanese and American cultures interpreted images, which conveyed a range of emotions.

This is particularly interesting because it challenges, as Dr. Masuda relates, "These findings go against the popular theory that the facial expressions of basic emotions can be universally recognized."

Click here now for the cutting edge >>>> Self Study Reading Body Language seminar from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

Reading & Decoding Body Language - Real World Body Language Stories

2008-09-09T20:35:00.000-07:00

Reading and Decoding Body Language - Real World Body Language Stories

by Dr. Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

At this blog on Reading and Decoding Body Language, I'll be focusing on real world impact of Body Language and non-verbal communication on personal interactions of all kinds. From the business world to your personal world, you’ll discover important information and insights that you can put to good use right away…even with your kids.

What’s going to amaze you is that what takes place in the office is VERY SIMILAR to what takes place in sexual relationships and family. Caught your eye with THAT one, didn't I?

In my upcoming blog post, I'll be sure to take a look at self-examination and how you can take a look at your own nonverbal communication. Then I'll also discuss HOW you can make the most of the power of leveraging the Secret Language of Influence in your everyday life. Because, if you can't go use this in your own daily life, I mean, what's the point? Without practical application, you're not really going to care what I have to say, will you?

For most people, everyday life includes working with a diverse array of people from other countries and other cultures, whether it’s face to face in the work place or using modern technology to interact across the globe. This is an increasingly important area given our increasingly globalized world, so I'll be sure to address Body Language as it applies to other cultures as well.

Click here for the latest in >>> Self-Study in Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language - The Latest Research in Nonverbal Communication

2008-09-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - The Latest Research in Nonverbal Communication

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

In this Reading Body Language blog, I cover, certainly, very basics of reading, decoding, and interpreting body language and the power Body Language has to influence people's attitudes, actions, and outcomes.

As you come back frequently to read all the many free (you're welcome) post I give you here on Body Language, you will learn about the key elements of body language and how they influence communication. You'll also learn abou the effects of the things people wear, the symbols they surround themselves with, “the context,” environment, proxemics, personal status, income, physical features and chronemics.

And don’t worry (reading those words, you were probably already worrying, weren't you?) …I’ll make it easy to understand. That's part of what I always do.

And when I say “there’s a lot of research,” please just accept that as a fact. Otherwise we would have to go get sixty journal articles and footnote each idea. You might now want to read of that, would you? So, let’s keep this simple but very accurate.

Here I will focus on the Real World impact of Body Language and non-verbal communication on personal interactions of all kinds. From the business world to your personal world, you will discover important information and insights that you can put to good use right away…even with your kids. They are, like, our toughest audience to influence, aren't they?

Now, what’s going to amaze you is that what takes place in the office is VERY SIMILAR to what takes place in sexual relationships (that woke you up and grabbed your attention, didn't it?) and family. Sex Body Language is akin to Business Body Language? Yup. We'll cover reading lying body language and the women body language and men body language. Because indeed, the gender of the person you want to influence matters in the body language message you want to send.

We'll cover that.

Click here now for the latest self-study and more articles on >>>Reading Body Language, from Internationally Acclaimed, Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan.

Reading Body Language - How the Gender of your recipient affects what your body is "Saying"

2008-09-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - How the Gender of your recipient affects what your body is "Saying"
by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

As a Body Language Expert, the media regularly approaches me to provide insights on reading body language, whether it is the women's body language of celebrities or politicians like Barak Obama, John McCain, or the new RNC VP Candidate, Governor Sarah Palin. They want to know about men's body language, too, but women's body language is often more interesting to read and decode.

Interestingly enough, did you know?.....

Men and women behave and respond to body movements in different ways. Yes, men and women are reading body language differently from each other. So the gender of with whom you are interacting is important to know and study when you are looking for decoding and interpreting body language.

So it's crucial for you to suit your body language depending on the gender of the person you meet....

Or you could be damaging a relationship or business relationship and now even know it.

If you think having this ability is mindblowing, you haven't even scratched the surface yet.

When you do recognize the true meaning and of people's gestures and movements, reading body language, (which could often be very different from what they say verbally), your life changes in a lot of positive ways.

Click Here now for the latest in >>>Self-Study Reading Body Language Training from Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan<<<

More reading body language tips and advise to come at this blog, so be sure to check back daily for you to become and remain cutting edge as a body language expert.

Sarah Palin's Acceptance Speech

2008-09-04T13:15:00.001-07:00

Sarah Palin's Acceptance Speech

By Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

Sarah Palin's BL

RNC VP nominee Sarah Palin delivered a strong acceptance speech last night.

Palin's body language during her pre-nomination speech was poised. She is a strong speaker.

During the introductions of her family - husband, children and parents - she allowed her feelings to surface and show, including a full gleeful smile when she said her husband was "still my guy." If you've studied Reading Body Language with my home study Body Language Mastery course, you'd have recognized that as a truly genuine smile.

When introducing her family, she gave no signs of having been beaten up in the media in respect to her 17 yr. old daughters pregnancy.

She alluded that her family had "ups and downs," but nothing in her body language showed anything of pride. Indeed, her presentation of her self was about as ideal for the setting as possible. Wearing glasses and her hair up created a more formidable image than had she not.

Her outfit was not in the least bit revealing and her top was both elegant and as modest as is possible. When she would use her small hands to make a fist or point a finger to make a point, my sense was that she was less powerful in the minds of the viewer. She was congruent in all communication. There was no deception detectable.

She was strongest on her support of her running mate and her family.

She was weakest in her sarcastic remarks aimed at the other party.

They appeared scripted and she had to reference her notes for them.

My recommendation would be for her to avoid the same in the future. Being aggressive is different from beingsarcastic. Aggressive will work for her.

My best guess is that she weathered the pre-nomination storm quite well and makes a direct contrast to Joe Biden. Biden with far more experience and less presence than palin. The only real concern will be how she appears next to one of the Senate's most seasoned men with a knowledge base second to few. And biden must be concerned about focusing on nothing but issues. His habit of off the cuff remarks that come back to haunt is part of his honesty and make him seen as likeable and real.

Palin didn't communicate on issues and thus we have an unknown there. If I were Joe Biden, I would be very thoughtful in the debate to come between the two.

Palin has nothing to worry about as far as presence.

Click here now for the complete home study course on >>> Reading Body Language.

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Body Language: Decoding, Interpreting & Mastering Nonverbal Communication 8 audio CDS, 3 DVDs, 125 page Manual on CD, Body Language Evaluator, Wallet Card
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Sexy Influence Cues - The New Research!

2008-09-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Sexy Influence Cues - The New Research!
by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

This is part of series on the influnce of SEXY and SEXUALLY stimulating cues. Fun, isn' t it? Don't you wish you were part of these research projects?

Some of the many findings:

Those low in sensitivity of behavioral approach are NOT driven to meet goals fueled by sexual cues.
Those high in sensitivity of behavioral approach ARE driven by sexual cues.
Sexual cues lead to monetary craving.
Delaying any reward reduces it's value. (Delay discounting)
KEY: After exposure to sexual cues, "sensitive men" have a heightened preference for nearby and quick rewards.
When exposed to lingerie (no women included) men discounted money more steeply than when they were exposed to women's t-shirts.
Sexual cues lead to steeper discounting of money. (Take a lot less now than more tomorrow.)
FASCINATING: The discounting is not related to the attractiveness of the models as the exposure to the lingerie itself accomplishes the same result.
INTERESTING side bar: After exposure to a sexy commercial, men were likely to be more creative!
When some appetite (sex, drugs, money) is satiated, delayed gratification becomes easier for sensitive men.
Touching a bra (no model included) leads to steeper discounting of candy bars, money and soft drinks (among sensitive men) BUT NOT AFTER SATIATION.

Read that again.

FINDING: Sexual appetite CAUSES monetary CRAVING.[Seeing the girl in the cocktail dress makes the desire to win money increase]
...and oh...
AMONG WOMEN: Desire for FOOD causes monetary craving!
And who did all of this cool research which I just readers digested for you?
Bram Van Den Bergh, Siegfried Dewitte, Luk Warlop, June 2008, Journal Consumer Research
Better than cool and instantly useful in your business.

Reading Body Language - You're Being Prejudiced Means You Are Normal

2008-09-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - You're Being Prejudiced Means You Are Normal
by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

I'm writing here about sending nonverbal messages that are likely to influence others.

Being as that I am Kevin Hogan, naturally, this will be a frank and intelligent discussion about complex and politically incorrect stuff. (And sometimes I lighten things up a bit…)

At no point in my blog do I intentionally offend anyone. At no point do I intentionally attempt to stir a pot of controversy.

What you discover here is factual information collected by the smartest minds on the planet as far as nonverbal communication, anthropology, social psychology and neuroscience.

Then I take all of that and hopefully make it easy to read and not all that painful.

I have prejudices. Lots of them. Conscious mind and nonconscious mind.

It’s important to recognize them in yourself and not ignore them. That's part of practicing Self-Mastery.

If you say, “I’m not prejudiced,” then you are practicing the art of self deception. Because you are prejudiced by nature of being a human being.

Recognize it, master the emotions that go along with it.

Be good to people….

Six years ago, I got to moderate a really neat event. “Speed Dating.”

16 men and 16 women would rotate throughout the evening, spending 4, count ‘em four MINUTES with each other.

At the end of the four minutes they would tick off on a 3 x 5 card if they wanted to date the person.

I ultimately guided three of these events. Two in Minneapolis and one in Seattle.

What I learned was fascinating.

1) Women wanted to date far fewer men than men were willing to date. (We’re so much more flexible and accommodating…or...desperate…)

2) 93% of women told me that they knew in the first thirty seconds whether they would be willing to date the man again. (This was hetersexual "Speed Dating," mind you.)

3) Almost as many men said they knew, “right away,” “instantly,” “within three seconds.”

4) The more people someone wanted to date, the fewer people wanted to date (usually) him.

Now is THAT interesting?

Click here for the latest in cutting edge articles and training materials on: Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language - STEREOTYPES and PREJUDGING

2008-09-01T21:31:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - STEREOTYPES and PREJUDGING

by Kevin Hogan

Body Language Expert

STEREOTYPES and PREJUDGING are part of what nonverbal communication and body language reading is all about. Breath now. Yes, when you want to interpret body language and decoding body language, you will need to address STEREOTYPES and PREJUDGING .

However, both of these sets of actions are NOT encouraged in society because they can lead people to behave unkindly toward others.

There’s nothing “nice” or “mean” about reading body language and nonverbal communication. It’s neither "good" or "bad." It’s simply reading and interpreting. Really.

It’s a very “real life” experience afterall

You must be effective at making generalizations and prejudging, for better or worse, to be effective at reading body language.

That said, I am NOT encouraging prejudice from a behavioral standpoint.

In other words, just because someone is black or white, male or female doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hire them or date them. Think about it, ok?

It means there are characteristics that are often correlated to others of the same skin color, gender, religion, school they go to, etc., typically within a given culture.

In other words, another way to think about it, you probably won’t find gangsta rap popular in Nigeria, Haiti or in the Outback. It’s not about the skin color. That is how people are drawn to each other in a culture…by their similarities…and then how they bond as a “community.”

“Culture” is HUGE in understanding nonverbal communication.

Within a certain culture, sometimes those correlations are cause/effect. Sometimes they are correlation.

There is a big difference between causation and correlation, but that is for another article series.

Reading Body Language - Make You Nervous?

2008-09-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

Does Reading Body Language - Make You Nervous?

by Kevin Hogan, Internationally Acclaimed Body Language Expert

Can reading body language well make you nervous?

It does me.

The study of nonverbal communication including body language is often a study of STEREOTYPES and PREJUDGING.

Prejudices. Yup.

To me that makes my heart skip a beat.

A lot of people don’t want to hear that. (Like you and me.)

But it really is an enormous part of the comprehension equation.

You have to think both stereotype and prejudice on at least a few different levels to master reading other people’s nonverbal behavior. It's as simple as that.

Stereotypes are just that. They are generalizations about people based upon certain characteristics they possess.

Interestingly enough, research is abundantly clear that women stereotype more accurately than men do. Women “get people” better than men do. It’s not even a close contest.

(Except deception where men perform deception as well as women do and stereotype the deceptive behaviors of others as well as women do.)

Prejudice is prejudging people.

….that’s what reading people is all about.

Breathe….

I'll be covering more here on Reading Body Language in posts to come.

Just click here for the latest in cutting edge material on: Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language - Can you read every gesture?

2008-08-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - Can you read every gesture?

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

Frankly, a lot of people want to know what every gesture and movement means. They want to read and interpret the body language of EVERY gesture.

As you will find out, even the person performing the gesture or behaving in a certain way often times typically doesn’t know what the gesture means.

Getting past how the brain works (which we will only touch on here) and how it directs most of nonverbal communication, we’ll talk about the core factors of the Secret Language of Influence.

Context
Culture
CultureS

All of these impact the reading of body language.

Just think about it.

The Context in which X occurred.
Culture in which X occurred.
The person’s catalog of reactions and responses.

There are hundreds if not thousands of contexts within which nonverbal communication occurs. (Being at the grocery store vs. watching TV at home)

Just think about it.

There are literally dozens of cultures per country on the globe, making for easily thousands of cultures and significant differences between cultures. (Society family vs. Gangsta Rap dudes)

How will that impact the reading of body language. the communicating of body language. Interpreting body language, and even the decoding of body language.

There are literally hundreds of gestures, signals, movements.

That combines for TRILLIONS of possible meanings that culture, context and reaction can ultimately have.

That’s a whole bunch of possibilities!

Check back, I'll be adding more soon!

Meanwhile, click here for the latest and cutting edge: Reading Body Language articles

Reading Body Language - When you NEED to know what they think of you

2008-08-31T16:46:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - When you NEED to know what they think of you

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

What really is the PURPOSE of reading body language? I mean, as a body language expert, media like the BBC, Cosmopolitan Magazine, and Men's Health, among others, solicit me for my expert opinion on body language and body language advise and tips.

But what really is the purpose of doing so?

You want to know if “they” like you, aren't you?

You want to know if “they” are deceiving you, don't you?

Precisely.

In fact, there are literally hundreds of books available on the subject of body language and non-verbal communication.

They range from the purely academic to the purely incidental, and everywhere in between. Throughout my years of teaching and professional speaking, one of the most consistent complaints I have heard from students and professionals is their inability to find a book that is reputable, engaging, and applicable to the real world in which they work and live.

In other words, you want to know what other people are thinking. You want to know what messages others are sending. Really.

You want to be able to “read” what kind of a person they are from looking at them and the things around them.

And maybe most importantly, you want to make the “right” and the “best” impression you can on others, especially the first time you meet them.

There is a widespread hunger for accurate information on this subject, but few (if any) resources combine the facts with useful practical applications.

Well, this is what I write on.

Click here to read more about: Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language - The Signs

2008-08-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - The Signs

by Kevin Hogan, Body Language Expert

Body Language Signs, they are all around you. Are you reading body language signs correctly? How can you read women's and men's body language? What does their body language mean? Can you decode and interpret their body language correctly?

Body Language:Follow The People Signs
Sonja Carberry Investor's Business Daily
Business leaders know how to read people -- and be read positively.
Gain an edge by paying attention to these subtle cues:

Hand signals:

What are your hands saying about you?

The old thinking was that touching your hand to your mouth meant you were lying.

"Not necessarily so," says Joe Navarro, an ex-FBI agent and author of "What Every BODY Is Saying."

"Touching of the mouth -- that's a pacifier," he told IBD. "We use pacifiers to sort of calm us down for a variety of reasons."

The gesture can actully be signalling discomfort, not dishonesty.

In actuality, "It can mean, 'I really don't like you going that route with your questions,'" Navarro said.

More to come!

Charisma: Increase Your Charisma (P 1)

2008-08-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

Charisma: Increase Your Charisma (P 1)
by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

Charisma is not some unidentifiable quality that only a few can possess. I've identified 43 techniques to increase your CQ (Charisma Quotient).

I'll be showing you 4 of those 43 here at my blog in the next few posts. Click here for the Full 43 Influence Techniques to Increase Your Charisma with Kevin Hogan's>> The Three Disciplines for Self-Mastery.

If you want to be more effective with others, you want the ultimate edge over your competition by developing charisma.

In this article, I'm going to give you four powerful tips that you can use today to make you more likable, beleivable and charismatic.

Charisma: External focus toward others.
Whenever you are in the presence of others, is most of your conscious attention drawn inward to your thoughts or do you invest at least that much time into thinking what they are thinking?
Do you think feel what they are feeling?

Remember this conversation:
You tell someone about your vacation or exciting experience. You are excited and into your story. The person you are with, however, is politely waiting for you to finish, and when you have finished, they say, "Oh, that's nothing." And then they go on to "one-up" your story.

The person who has one-upped your story has no charisma. They lack the ability to probe into your feelings or be fascinated by your experience.

Read the following three sentences someone might say after you tell them a story about your recent vacation to the Grand Canyon:

a) "I've been there lots of times. It's great."
b) "Have you seen the other side of the Canyon, it's even prettier there."
c) "Oh really? What did you like best about the Canyon?"

More on "Are you listening to how your Body Talks?" asks Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

2008-08-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert, Reading Body Language

What You Look Like Really Talks!

Yes, it's true.

What you LOOK LIKE, your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE alone speaks volumns about you.

Let's begin with our physical appearance.

I'll be giving you some astounding facts that will give you pause for thought when you consider how important appearance is in getting to the top. And you just may want to make some changes to your eating, exercise, and satorial habits.

Your perceived level of attractiveness by other people will be a significant benefit or detriment in your life. It isn't fair but it is true.

People who get to the top learn how to deal with less than perfect physical features and work with what they can.

More to come on how YOUR physical appearance impacts your success rate.

Reading Body Language - The POWER of a Smiley

2008-08-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

Reading Body Language - The POWER of a Smiley

by Kevin Hogan

Body Language Expert

You've probably read from acclaimed body of work as a Body Language expert and my articles on Reading Body Language that SMILING plays a HUGE role in affecting influence, persuasion and compliance.

But what about a SMILE in your environment?

You're going to laugh. But go ahead and DO THIS NOW and watch the amazing results you will accomplish.

This is about PRIMING.

1st: Put one of those smiley faces on your refrigerator for a week. See how your family's behavior changes that week (assuming they use the fridge as much as the people here do.)

2nd: And put one of those smiley faces in the bathroom.... (I'm not saying where. I'll leave that to YOU.)

3rd: And sit back and watch subliminal persuasion go to work....

Pretty amazing, isn't it?

"Are you listening to how your body TALKS?" asks Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan

2008-08-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

Can You Hear Your Body Talking?

by Kevin Hogan,

Body Language Expert, Reading Body Language

You've heard it before, but how closely have you really studied it?

Your body language is speaking VOLUMES to others.

Are you yourself listening?

Do you even KNOW what YOUR body language is saying to others?

Ask yourself that, write your answers down, and check back SOON.

I'll keep posting on the topic as a Body Language Expert on Reading Body Language.

Reading Body Language - In Life And Death Situations - Decoding and Sending Body Language

2008-08-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

By Kevin Hogan, Body Language Expert

It's true. Even when people WANT to send certain Body Language Signals, as I previously covered, they fail at an unbelievable rate.

And often those who are untrained who try to apply a little knowledge to reading body language and interpreting body language, where they are decoding body language, they misread people almost twice as often as they read people correctly.

KEYPOINT: We don't read people well. And we don't send messages well, even when doing so with full intention and great care being taken.

This means you will misunderstand the people closest to you....often.

You will try hard to communicate clearly with people, and they won't understand you.
People will accuse you of saying and feeling and thinking things you never have said, felt, or thought.

You will be sure people said certain things and have a "gut instinct" about people and you will often be 100% wrong...but you don't stick around to find out.

And the vast majority of all these things happen because as humans, we stink at ENCODING and DECODING body language.

There's nothing intuitive about it at all...at least nothing that helps us understand the reading of body language.

So what are we to do?

Read on! I'll be adding tips and advise about Reading Body Language often.

MORE on How YOUR Own Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Influences

2008-08-20T16:18:00.001-07:00

Friendships and Biases

Now it's your FRIEND whose bias is affecting you.

Sitting next to you is your rightfully concerned environmentalist friend.

You're explaining how to buy stocks.

"Low PE, good earnings, blah blah blah."

"What's CVX?"

"Chevron," you tell him.

"Oh, oil company."

And immediately you feel uncomfortable. Your friend is evaluating you as a polluter of the environment and the source of global warming and ultimately the destruction of the planet.

So you skip past CVX and move to a less "sensitive" stock.

What do we learn after all this?

All of this is Nonverbal Communication: both intrapersonal and interpersonal completely changes your investment strategy.

And almost certainly, it will cost you money.

But you made all of these decisions based upon your perception of what others think of you. Their judgments of you change your decisions.

Next time out, I'll show you the cues that drive these perceptions as well as how and where you position others in that room will change your portfolio as well.

All of this is the The Secret Language of Influence that no one thinks about, but affects us all.

Kevin Hogan is author of the book, Secret Language of Business.

Click here for more article on: Reading Body Language and How Body Language affects our decisions.

How YOUR Own Body Language & Nonverbal Communication Influences Everything from Your Decisions to YOUR Life (Part 3)

2008-08-20T16:10:00.001-07:00

Authority, Body Language, and Influence

Your superior comes in and sits down opposite you. She drops five prospectuses directly onto the table in front of you. (What is her body language right there?)

She has a bias toward retail while you have been strongly interested in cheap precious metals stocks.

She looks at precious metals stocks almost as if they aren't stocks. (She doesn't like them.)

What looks and feels better in a portfolio to the firm's customers, WMT or GOLD?

GOLD is "scary" and WMT is "safe."

She is in control of your salary and bonuses and asks for your opinion on the stocks she has just laid out in front of you.

FACT: because of your awareness of her biases, you tend to lean toward what she likes for your portfolio. Her agreement and your perception of her thinking you to be intelligent and "making right decisions" is more important (fear) than picking what you think the right stock is.

RESPONSE: You pull out Macy's and suggest that stock.

"That's what I was thinking, too."

Relieved, you go back to your desk and buy the XAU or HUI for your own account.

Your superior has completely influenced your decision.

Now imagine that you don't work on the street for the brokerage house. You're just like me (Kevin Hogan) out here in the real world. You're screening stocks and come across CVX. (Chevron Oil)

To be continued.....

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How YOUR Own Body Language and Nonverbal Communication Influences Everything from Your Decisions to Your Life (Part 2)

2008-08-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

by Kevin Hogan, Psy.D. Body Language Expert

What's the Problem With All This?

The problem with all of this is that the force of influence of others in the environment combined with your own personal concerns about what others think of you reduces your field of possible information and entertainment sources. The field gets smaller and you see two things.

1) A world that you are being shaped into instead of the world as it is.

2) A world that is based on others political, religious, values instead of behaving in a natural and normal way.

And all of that comes out in your own body language and nonverbal communication....to others....to yourself.

I'm going to use picking stocks as a metaphor for everything we do in life and business, but as you will see the concepts map over to....everything else.

So, before we come to stock picking and portfolio selection, let's briefly look at your office.

The Right and Left Brain

If you're like most right-handed people, the left side of your desk is a mess and the right side is clean. (I know you're wondering how I can see your desk.)

In fact, about half of right-handed people who have that mess on their desk have a stash of emails and letters that are six months old that still need to be dealt with eventually.... and they aren't on the right side of the desk.

Why?

How can I know that?

It turns out (to overgeneralize) that the left brain which is a bit more linear, computational and logical is activated more intensely when you look to the right.

Rule of thumb: Left brain doesn't like disorder.

The right side of the brain is more the home to emotions, feelings, autobiography. It doesn't care about disorder, it cares about the woman at the cash register scanning the Playboy at Barnes and Noble. (Just reading that makes you a little anxious, true?)

When right-handed people look for an extended period of say, one minute, to their left, they begin to feel uneasy and experience anxiety and feelings of fear.

Now imagine that you have two prospectuses (Descriptions of stocks you can buy) sitting on the coffee table.

One is to the right and one is to the left.

To over generalize you will tend to look at the prospectus on your right (because information coming in the right eye filters more to the left brain and the left eye to the right brain) will receive a more analytical analysis on your part. The prospectus on your left is more likely to receive an emotional and usually negative (because most strong emotions are negative) bias.

You'll be more likely to pick the stock that is featured in the prospectus on the right because you simply didn't feel good about the one on the left.

Now, let's complicate the universe.

What happens when things get complicated?

Coming Soon..... Part 3!

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Body Language: The Basics on Reading Body Language Pt 2

2008-08-19T17:45:00.001-07:00

Body Language: The Basics Pt 2

by Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.Body Language Expert

Breathing

Watch how and where the other person is breathing from. You can pace the person’s breathing pattern as a powerful mode to build rapport. People who breathe at the same rate are usually in sync with each other. When you make love with someone, your breathing normally is matched breath for breath. People sitting next to each other who watch a movie together will often breathe in synch with each other, especially if the movie is particularly dramatic or eery. Certain emotions are likely to bring about certain breathing patterns and these can be particularly useful to model if the opportunity arises!

Would you like to find out more secrets of body language just like these? Would you like to be the one in control of the conversation, the date, the business meeting, the sale? You can, with the secrets revealed in the new home study course at: Learn Reading Body Language from a Body Language Expert.

Kevin Hogan, Psy.D., has studied body language since 1983 and is an internationally acclaimed body language expert. Now for the first time he takes two decades of academic research and real world experience and puts it all into one easy-to-understand program. More articles on Body Language Expert, Reading Body Language.

Reading Body Language - How YOUR Own Body Language and Nonverbal Communication Influences Everything from Your Decisions to Your Life (Part 1)

2008-08-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

by Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Body Language Expert

Imagine you are sitting on the plane or train and there is a lengthy article in the newspaper about Al Qaeda. It actually looks fresh and interesting with lots of photos.
Sitting next to you is a man who looks as if he is Arab and you think perhaps a Muslim. Maybe various feelings go through your body and for any of a dozen "reasons" you turn the page to a seemingly more benign story on the next page.

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out last week. You get it there at the office. Your boss is coming for a visit. Prior to the visit you look around the office, straighten up and either pop the copy of SI in a drawer or at the bottom of the magazine pile on the coffee table or at your desk....but it was out in plain sight not minutes before.

Think back to the last time you bought a "men's magazine" like FHM or Playboy. You picked it up and then realized that you can't walk up to the counter with JUST the recent Playboy so you have to pick up a couple of other magazines or books or food products on the way as well. As soon as the magazine is sufficiently "buried" you go check out and hope the woman scans the magazine quickly and doesn't "judge you" too harshly.
Each of these scenarios happen just about every day to people in the United States. Granted, no one in Europe or the U.K. is going to fully "get this" American phenomenon, but it is very real on this side of the water.

Why Does This Happen?
The reasons are many, the emotions connected with content, whether religious material, men's magazines, romance novels, books that hammer on the other political party....they all are things that Americans are culturally indoctrinated to be sensitive about.
And these bizarre experiences are generated by thoughts and feelings of being overly concerned about what others opinions are, of you. "Political correctness" gone wild..., if you will.
What's amazing is that these nonverbal patterns of feeling and your reactions change your income, happiness and way of life.

These thoughts and feelings literally change your behavior and they change your decisions as to what content you are going to be looking at in any moment. And that will change everything else you do.
Further, you decide on what movies to go see, what to watch on TV, what car you will buy ...also based upon the person's opinion that is sitting next to you or busy with another project nearby.
What's the problem with all this? Continue to the next page....

All of this Nonverbal Communication, both intrapersonal and interpersonal completely changes your investment strategy.
Almost certainly, it will cost you money.
But you made all of these decisions based upon your perception of what others think of you. Their judgments of you change your decisions.
Next time out, I'll show you the cues that drive these perceptions as well as how and where you position others in that room will change your portfolio as well.
All of this is the The Secret Language of Influence that no one thinks about, but affects us all.

Keeping checking for part 2 Coming Soon!

For more free articles: click here Reading Body Language from Body Language Expert

Body Language: The Basics on Reading Body Language

2008-08-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

Body Language: The Basics
by Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Body Language Expert

I spend so much time with you talking about advances, current research and the future, sometimes I neglect to cover the basics. This article will help everyone catch up in the most important area of communication…the non-verbal aspects of Reading Body Language, Decoding Body Language and Nonverbal communication.

Physical Appearance

How does your appearance speak volumes about you?

Is your dress appropriate for the context of your presentation?

How much can a person guess about you by what you wear?

An individual’s dress and grooming can help make someone feel comfortable or out of place. How we dress in large part determines how much people will trust and like us. Each situation has a proper manner of dress affiliated with it. It may seem inauthentic to dress in a certain manner to set people at ease, but indeed it is very authentic. You are dressing a certain way to help the people you communicate with feel comfortable. You have gone beyond your needs and desires,to address those of others.

In 1982 I was a Sophomore at the University of Wisconsin and was taking a class called “Nonverbal Communication.” Half the grade in the class was to be based upon a paper each person would write after accomplishing research in the field of nonverbal communication. The paper was like a mini-thesis. My idea was to test to see how a person dresses would correlate to how rapidly you would get waited on in a retail environment.

I enlisted a friend to help me. What we did was play roles. I was the engaged bachelor who was looking for engagement rings. He was my best-man-to-be. We went to numerous jewelers all over the Minneapolis-St.Paul area to compare how long it would take us to get waited on depending on what we were wearing. At half of the stores we went to, we would wear jean jackets, t-shirts and blue jeans. At the other half of the stores, we both wore coats and ties with dress shoes.

What we did was first measure the time it took us to get waited on and then ultimately we asked the value of the most expensive diamond they would take out of the vault without calling a security person to be with the sales person while they showed us the diamond.

When we dressed in coat and ties we were waited on almost three times as quickly as when we were dressed in jeans. When we asked to see the most expensive diamonds the store had available, we would see diamonds that were almost five times as expensive than when we wore jeans before they had to call an extra security guard to show the diamond with them.

There was no question that how you dress correlates to the quality, comfort and speed of service you receive.

Vocal Cue

It is best to gain rapport by matching the same rate and tone of voice that your fellow communicator is using. It is not necessary to mimic the other person, simply alter your speech patterns in the direction of the other person.

My personal tendency is to talk very quickly and make things happen at quite a speedy clip, especially in business. This speech rate pattern works well for comedians, public speakers and anyone who has to present before groups because the person can slow down if necessary (and it usually is appropriate to do just that regularly).

Talking slowly and monotonously is a guaranteed method of losing the respect of your audience. Over the years as a public speaker and corporate trainer, I have learned that what works best is some variety. When discussing topics that are particularly serious I will slow down and be more deliberate. When speaking about light issues or something that can be made light of, I will return to my normal pace which is quite quick. Audiences have responded well to this formula and almost certainly will in the future.

Posture and Physiology

Your posture tells alot about the emotions you are feeling. People in rapport have the same physiology.

One of the most effective methods to gain rapport is to match the posture and physiology of your partner. You will sit or stand in a similar fashion to what their physiology is. This is called, “pacing.” You can check later in your communication to see if you are actually in rapport by “leading.” Leading means, for example, that if you are both sitting with un-crossed legs, you cross your legs. The other person will follow suit shortly, assuming you are in rapport. Once you have effectively led the other person, you can share your ideas and thoughts more constructively.
I was demonstrating this technique of pacing and leading in a public presentation some months ago. I asked a man to come out of the audience to volunteer to assist me in demonstrating rapport building to the rest of the audience.

After he was seated I sat like he did and began to explain to the audience that I was intentionally slowing my breathing down, sitting straighter and crossing my arms because the gentleman was doing so. I explained that it wouldn’t be long before the gentleman would feel more comfortable and loosen up. I began asking him questions about his job, how long he had been there and general information questions about himself. I finally got him to open up with his comments about the recent elections with which I earnestly agreed with him. As soon as his head was nodding with mine about the good luck we had in the recent election, I immediately opened up my body posture so my arms were no longer crossed. He instantly did the same thing and I immediately pointed out that I led him out as soon as I felt we had rapport. He confirmed that he felt comfortable with me when we were talking about politics and that he wasn’t even aware that he had opened his arms.

That gentleman was returned to his chair and I asked another man to come up. This time I instructed the man that once he had attained a specific body position, I wanted him to keep it until we were done with the experiment.

He agreed to do so. He crossed one leg over there, sat in a little more of a hunched posture, and breathed even more deeply than the man before him. I assumed a mirror position. I asked him about his work and his political views, which did not match mine in any way. We switched to sports and got to talking about the Minnesota Vikings and how close they came to the super bowl in 1998. I asked him why he thought they couldn’t beat the Atlanta Falcons and he started to tell me his opinion. As soon as he was moving, I intentionally led him by opening up my body posture. His right arm twitched when he saw my left arm open up. Everyone in the first 10 or so rows saw this and laughed. He didn’t follow through but the point was clear. He was in rapport and I had succeeded in leading him even though he didn’t actually change his body posture. He wanted to!

All of these rapport builders lead us to an important key involving effective communication: You must often be more like others than yourself if your goal is to engage people in deep and intimate relationships.,

Remember a time when you were in complete rapport with someone. This is a time that you both were almost thinking the same thing.

Were you sitting near each other?
Was your physiology similar?
Think of another time and answer the same questions.
When you experienced these moments of rapport with someone, did you feel that you were on a roll or experiencing enthusiasm or other intense emotion at the time?

Would you like to find out more secrets of body language just like these? Would you like to be the one in control of the conversation, the date, the business meeting, the sale? You can, with the secrets revealed in the new home study course at: Learn Reading Body Language from a Body Language Expert.

They lose the sale each and every day because they send the wrong message...and they still have no idea why the "vibe" wasn't there. Every day the guy blows the girl of his dreams right out of the water by sending just one misunderstood cue. Worst? Every day people lie to you and you don't even know it. It's time to turn this around and learn what their unconscious mind is really telling you!

Kevin Hogan, Psy.D., has studied body language since 1983. Now for the first time he takes two decades of academic research and real world experience and puts it all into one easy-to-understand program. More articles on Body Language Expert, Reading Body Language.

Secret Language of Influence (Chapter 2 Continued)

2008-07-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

What about in your everyday life? What kinds of deliberate body language do you use? Here are a few examples I have heard in my seminars and workshops:

· If you are moving into line at the grocery store check stand and another person is approaching at the same time, avoid eye contact with that person and walk confidently into line so you end up ahead of her instead of behind her.

· Avoid eye contact and move away from the boss if you’re late with a task or project.

· A new teacher walks into his classroom on the first day of school with confidence and a calm demeanor, despite feeling terrified and nervous.

· You smile, shake hands, and politely say hello when your ex-girlfriend introduces you to her new boyfriend.

· When disciplining a child, stay standing while the child stays seated. This higher position gives you added authority.

· Your take your son along with you to a dental appointment, and although you are very nervous about the root canal she is about to perform you smile and act confident to set a good example for your son.

· You hate broccoli with a passion, but when you arrive at your boyfriend’s home to have dinner with his parents for the first time, you discover the main dish is broccoli casserole. Despite your inner feelings, you eat the casserole with your head nodding approval, your eyes closed in enjoyment, and your face set in a smile when his mother offers to give you the recipe.

· It’s 3am and your dogs wake up whining to go outside. You lay completely still, making a deliberate effort to breathe deeply and steadily so it appears you are still asleep. After a few minutes of this, your spouse grumbles, throws back the covers, and takes the dogs to the back door.

I’m continually amazed at the creative and interesting examples brought up during seminars. Just when I think I’ve heard every possible example there could be, someone comes up with something entirely new to add to my list.

Reading Some Sending Samples

Men send signals to women in ways that most men never think of.

Women look at the condition of the inside of a man’s car. Specifically: Are the front and back seats clean.

Women expect men to be on time and you lose brownie points when you are not.

From men that women have no sexual interest in, women don’t want to be gazed at when your eyes are above their eye level.

Secret Language of Influence (Chapter 2 Continued)

2008-07-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

By the time I get to the end of the list, everyone in the room is paying attention. Some nod their heads in a wise way, as if to say “yup, I already knew all of that” while others laugh nervously or self-consciously, recognizing themselves in the examples just given and feeling glad they were not the one whose morning activities were discussed.

Now, getting back to the original question at the beginning of this section – why should you care about body language? Because body language is a major part of communication and you are constantly communicating, so when your body language becomes more effective your communication does as well….and you begin to influence in the direction of CHOICE and not randomness.

The rest of this chapter will look closely at the three key communication roles we all play – sender, receiver, and observer. Body language and nonverbal behaviors affect all of these roles in a great number of ways, so it’s worth spending some extra time going into them in a more detailed manner.

When you are the “Sender”

When you are the sender of a message, your body language is an amazing mix of behaviors. Your behaviors can shift rapidly at times, slowly at other times, but they are always there in one form or another. A sender’s body language is generally categorized as either conscious or nonconscious, but I like to use the words deliberate and spontaneous instead. These words do a much better job of capturing the nature of certain behaviors and how they appear in your daily life.

Deliberate body language – You consciously choose these behaviors because they serve a specific purpose. For instance, when you walk into a room for a job interview you hold yourself in an upright posture, smile, shake hands, and introduce yourself to others in the room. Somewhere along the line, you were taught these are the non-verbal behaviors that express your professionalism, enthusiasm, and openness. There are people who seem to just naturally exhibit these behaviors without being taught, but regardless of your existing natural tendencies, it is very likely you will choose to emphasize them in an interview situation.

Another great example of deliberate body language occurs every year during the Academy Awards in Hollywood. For each award, the presenter reads the names of the nominees and the TV cameras focus in on each of them. When the winner’s name is read the other nominees continue smiling, they applaud, and may even nod their head in agreement with the choice made by the judges. These are all deliberate non-verbal behaviors, designed to cover up their own disappointment and behave in a socially appropriate way. It might feel good to grimace, pout, or stomp out in a huff, but those are not considered polite so each non-winner makes a conscious effort to use appropriate body language.

To Be Continued...

Secret Language of Influence (Chatper 2 Continued)

2008-06-30T12:28:00.001-07:00

When I meet someone who holds this opinion I like to go through a quick but powerful exercise. I ask the person to list at least five things they have done that day, promising to show how body language affected each activity. I write each activity on a separate piece of flip chart paper, leaving plenty of room on the paper for later on in the exercise.

Here’s a typical list from a body language skeptic:

1. I woke up

2. I ate breakfast

3. I drove to the post office

4. I stopped to pick up coffee

5. I came to this body language seminar

This list is usually accompanied by a somewhat smug expression, almost daring me to find anything related to body language in the daily, mundane activities of life. Imagine the surprise, then, when I start down responding to the list, making notes on each flip chart sheet that look something like this:

1. You woke up – When the alarm went off you may have grimaced, given a heavy and dejected sigh, sat up with shoulders slumped and head hanging down. All of those non-verbal behaviors influenced your own attitude and feelings about waking up. If a there was another person in the room, their perception of your non-verbal behaviors influenced their impression of you, their expectations for interacting with you, and their own attitude toward getting out of bed.

2. You ate breakfast – You walked into the kitchen with a certain posture and body movement. It may have been upright and looking forward or it may have been hunched over and looking down. As you ate breakfast, you might have sat with shoulders slumped down or with shoulders held back. Maybe you were focused on the newspaper, ignoring the cat or dog trying to attract your attention. If there was another person in the room, a slumped posture and focus on the newspaper would have made them reluctant to speak with you; an upright posture, eye contact, and pleasant facial expression would have made them eager to speak with you.

3. You drove to the post office – You turned the car onto the street and began driving, both hands firmly on the wheel and eyes focused on the road. Other drivers catch a glimpse of your posture and focus, immediately forming an opinion about what actions to expect from you as you drive past. Or, you might sit slumped back, one elbow on the center armrest, head tilted slightly to one side as if daydreaming, or thinking about something else. Perhaps you’re talking on your cell phone, smiling pleasantly or with a stern look on your face. When you arrive at the post office, you get out of the car and slam the door, walking directly into the building. Others nearby observed this behavior and make an instant judgment about your attitude and what they might expect if they were to interact with you. If there was another person in the car with you during the drive, your non-verbal behaviors influenced their willingness to talk to you, their feelings of safety, and their sense of whether or not you are happy to have them in the car with you.

4. You stopped to pick up coffee – You drove up to the coffee stand and rolled down your window. You looked up, made eye contact, smiled, and said good morning. The person behind the counter greeted you back, with a friendly smile and sincere hello. They judge you a nice person and turn to make your coffee, perhaps with a bit more care because you have made a positive impression. On the other hand, you may have arrived at the coffee stand with a stern facial expression. When the barista greeted you, you didn’t smile back or exchange greetings; you placed your order and turned your head in a way that appeared dismissive. You have not made such a positive impression, and the person behind the counter has judged you grumpy. Their most immediate goal is to finish your coffee, collect the money, and get you out of there.

5. You came to this body language seminar – You walked into the seminar room and looked for a place to sit. It was a slow, almost casual walk, with a bored or stern look on your face because you really didn’t want to be here. You choose a seat in the back of the room so you can be physically present but avoid any active involvement. The use of round tables rather than rows of chairs worries you because you might have to interact with others at the table, so you pick a table that’s empty and spread out your things. A head down, concentrated facial expression sends the message that you’re busy and not interested in chatting or being enthusiastic about the seminar. Or perhaps you walked into the room with an upright posture and a confident stride. You paused to look around, smiling and greeting people who walk past you. Your eyes scan the room, making eye contact with various people, and you select a seat near the front. You reach out to shake hands with others at the table, introducing yourself with a smile and a nod of the head. You place your things nearby but not blocking you, and make eye contact with the people around you. You chat a bit, nodding your head, leaning forward, smiling, and using a variety of facial expressions during the conversation.

Secret Language of Influence (Chapter 2)

2008-06-17T13:01:00.001-07:00

CHAPTER 2
THE POWER OF THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF INFLUENCE

It is difficult to underestimate the power of body language. Those who pretend to be experts throw around figures such as 75%, 85%, even 90% when they try to define how much of a message is communicated non-verbally rather than verbally. It actually differs from context to context and individual to individual. There is no number or even an “average.” The bottom line is the power of even the very best verbal communication pales in comparison to the power of body language and non-verbal communication.

Why should YOU care about body language?

Stinky people.

They bother me.

I confess it, here and now.

I’m “smell sensitive.”

I can tell someone what they had for lunch, whether they had alcohol, were near a cigarette and whether I can stay within meters of them because of their bodies scent.

So at the conscious and probably nonconscious level you and I are aware to a greater or lesser degree of scent and it causes us to form opinions about people.

But sometimes all of this happens at the nonconscious level…

…and sometimes the result of scientific research is a little scary.

Research shows that females are far more attracted to males with other females scent on them.

Notice that it is not the scent of perfume which obviously covers scent, but the scent of another female.

It appears that evolution has supplied females a yardstick with which to measure males. Females have an olfactory sensitivity about ten times that of males, in terms of sexuality and pheromones.

Evolution determines that females instinctively seek a fertile partner with good genes…ie….by virtue of another woman’s scent, the male has been already been 'tested and approved'.

And ALL of this happens at the nonconscious level.

Talk about secrets off influence…

(I bet that got your attention, true?)

If you communicate to earn a living you must obviously master nonverbal communication.

I sometimes come across people during my events who doubt the influence of body language or simply don’t believe it is such an important part of life. They usually agree it is important when giving formal presentations and the like, but when it comes to daily activities it is something that’s just there in the background. Often these people attend the seminar because their boss is making them go, or they feel they have to attend as part of their career development plan. In other words, they are physically present but not necessarily mentally or emotionally engaged in the process.

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Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Someone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 WORKSHEET)

2008-06-16T10:08:00.001-07:00

Chapter 1 Worksheet

1) Review the Chapter 1 Take Aways and answer the following:

- which key point(s) did you find most interesting? Why?

- which key point(s) did you find most surprising? Why?

2) Think about a recent example of communication you had with another person. Write down a description of the non-verbal behaviors that occurred during the interaction.

Now categorize each non-verbal behavior (repeating, conflicting, complementing, substituting, accenting/moderating, or regulating)

3) Go to a restaurant, coffee shop, shopping mall, or other public location and observe an interaction between two or more other people. Write down a description of the non-verbal behaviors you observe.

Now categorize each non-verbal behavior (repeating, conflicting, complementing, substituting, accenting/moderating, or regulating)

Chapter 2 Coming Soon!

Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-06-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1 Take Aways

1. The observation and discussion of body language has been around for centuries, but only became a serious scientific discipline after the end of World War II.

2. Body language is an important component of the overall communication process, but cannot be entirely separated and isolated from other components. They all integrate and interact with each other in many different ways, depending on context, environment, culture, personalities, etc.

3. There are many detailed, nuanced definitions that may be applied to non-verbal communication and verbal communication, but for the purposes of this book, we’ll focus on the most basic definitions:

Non-verbal communication: The process of sending and receiving messages without using words. Examples include body language, facial expression, gesture, movement, touch, distance, eye contact, etc.

Verbal communication: The process of sending and receiving messages using words. Examples include spoken words, written words, and sign language.

4. There are six main categories of body language, as discussed in Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction by Mark Knapp:

· Repeating

· Conflicting

· Complementing

· Substituting

· Accenting/Moderating

· Regulating

5. Body language has nearly endless practical applications in everyday life, whether it is applied subconsciously or with conscious deliberation. The best and most effective communicators take an active interest in learning how to make the best use of non-verbal communication.

Read more about the nonconscious mind and how it is often confused with the unconscious/subconscious mind at http://www.kevinhogan.com/nonconsciousmind.htm

Check back soon for Chapter 1 Worksheet!

Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-06-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

Regulating – This category contains non-verbal behaviors that regulate or pace the communication of a message. It might be used to indicate when you are ready to move from one topic to another topic, or to transition smoothly to another person’s chance to speak. Regulating behaviors help to moderate and control the communication between and among multiple people.

For instance, if you are leading the roundtable segment of a team meeting you might nod, turn, and gesture to the next person at the table when it is his or her turn to speak. Some people are not very good at regulating behaviors; they interrupt before another person is finished speaking, or they talk constantly without allowing input from others.

Practical applications of body language

Common examples of when and where non-verbal communication applies to the real world include:

Office

Selling

Negotiations

Job interviews

Persuasive discussions

Client/vendor interactions

Walking through the grocery store

Meetings

Politics

Hiring

Intimacy

Friendship

Parenting

Working with animals

Business meetings

Real estate showings

Meal time

Running errands

Parent teacher conferences

Shopping

Group leadership

Sports activities

Vacation planning

This list could go on and on and on! The reality is that non-verbal communication is part of everything you do every day. Your personal nonverbal communication influences everyone around you…and they, you.

Choose the more active path of learning because that holds the greatest potential for making all aspects of your life richer, more interesting, more productive, and more effective. And that is why I wrote this book.

To Be Continued...

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Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less ( Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-06-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

**For More Recent parts of this chapter please scroll down and take a look at the previous posts.

Complementing – This category is somewhat intertwined with the Conflicting category. Non-verbal behavior that complements and supports verbal statements lends credibility to those statements if the non-verbal behavior is perceived to be genuine and not faked. For instance, I knew a woman who was pulled over by a state patrol officer for speeding. She was genuinely embarrassed at being pulled over because she had simply not paid attention to her speed. To make things worse, in nearly twenty years of driving she had never been pulled over before. By the time the officer got to her car she was crying and very upset with herself.

Now, police officers are especially good at reading verbal and non-verbal communication under stress, because let’s face it, the people they encounter don’t want to get a ticket or go to jail or otherwise get in trouble so they will often try to lie and talk their way out of the situation. The state patrol officer who pulled over my friend could see right away that her non-verbal behavior (crying, shaking, etc.) was real and not faked. This, coupled with her immaculate driving record and admission of wrongdoing, convinced him to let her go with a warning. Her non-verbal behavior complemented her verbal statements, therefore making them more credible to the officer.

Substituting – This category is for the body language used when a person does not want to use verbal communication. Perhaps the words are too hard to say out loud, or saying them would create a conflict or confrontation. In this kind of situation, substituting non-verbal behavior for the words can get the message across in a way that is more comfortable.

Have you ever encountered an acquaintance in the grocery store that starts talking and then keeps talking? When that happens, chances are you first try to disengage yourself from the conversation using body language. You might start glancing away from the other person, or perhaps turn your body and/or take a step or two away. If the other person does not get the message you might have to resort to saying “I have to go now” or something similar, but you’d rather not have to do that. You would rather substitute non-verbal communication to end the conversation.

Accenting/Moderating – This category captures the kinds of non-verbal communication designed to enhance a verbal message. It might serve to amplify a particular point and give it more emphasis, or it might serve to moderate or soften a particular point. Either way, this type of body language adds depth and nuance to a message.

For instance, if you are angry with a co-worker you might accent the message with a pointing gesture, a frown, and a shake of your head. This lets the other person know you are quite serious about your anger and want them to get the message very clearly. If you are correcting a minor mistake made by an employee, however, you might moderate the message with a palm up gesture, a reassuring smile, or a pat on the shoulder for encouragement. This lets the other person know you are serious about wanting the mistake corrected, but also softens the message a bit so he or she understands it’s not the end of the world, just a mistake and a learning experience.

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Secret Language of Influence: How To Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less ( Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

How body language influences communication

In an earlier section, I stated that non-verbal and verbal elements of communication couldn’t be completely separated and isolated from the overall communication process. This is one of the most interesting (and at times frustrating) aspects of studying communication because the potential variations and interactions are so numerous and so diverse that it can be hard to categorize them in a meaningful, definite way.

When you think solely about body language and how it influences communication, though, some basic features and functions emerge. These fall into the following general categories:

Repeating

Conflicting

Complementing

Substituting

Accenting/Moderating

Regulating

Those are forbidding-sounding categories that come straight from the scientific and academic world. Let’s give them some better ‘real world’ meaning with a few examples.

Repeating – Non-verbal behavior often serves to repeat what is said verbally. When you ask your spouse to put down the bag of groceries on the table, do you point to the table during or after you speak? If so, that’s repeating. The act of pointing (non-verbal) repeats the request (verbal) of where to put the groceries.

Conflicting – This is one of the biggest and most varied categories of non-verbal behavior. When you tell your friend the cake she baked is delicious (verbal) but your eyes dart away (non-verbal), that’s conflicting. Conflicting body language is a bright, flashing indicator when you lie, feel nervous, disagree, or otherwise feel trapped or ambivalent about something. When verbal and non-verbal elements are in conflict, the person receiving the communication will usually give more credibility to the non-verbal behavior.

Even more fascinating, though, is that we interpret conflicting information based in part on how easy or hard it is to fake the particular non-verbal behavior. For instance, a child might say she has a stomachache and is unable to take out the garbage. The body language of a stomachache is hard to “fake” – pale color, clammy skin, and perhaps a fever or general discomfort for an extended period of time. Most parents will be skeptical from the start, only starting to believe her when it becomes clear her non-verbal behaviors are real.

To Be Continued...

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Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

Because the information revealed through scientific activities is enormously important to every aspect of your everyday life. There is no escaping the power and influence of body language; research and study simply identify and define it in ways that you can apply in the real world.

The problem until now has been a lack of resources to help you understand the scientific side of body language and translate it into practical applications for your life. This book is designed to fill that gap so you can look at non-verbal communication in an entirely new (and practical) way. Then, learn how to utilize that knowledge in an influential manner.

Before we get there, though, there are some basics to cover.

Non-verbal vs. verbal communication

The definitions of non-verbal and verbal communication are of course argued from time to time as researchers gather more information and try to form the most precise descriptions possible. For the purposes of this book, though, I’ll stick with the most basic, generally accepted definitions:

Verbal communication: The process of sending and receiving messages using words. Examples include spoken words, written words, and sign language.

Wait a minute. Verbal communication includes the words you write down on a piece of paper? You probably learned somewhere along the line that verbal communication is only the spoken word, but the strict interpretation of verbal communication focuses on words in general – spoken, written, and signed.

Experts sometimes disagree about how to classify communication such as sign language and tone of voice as well. Sign language uses gestures, which is non-verbal, but those gestures are actually words, which is verbal. Tone of voice is a spoken sound, which is verbal, but it is not a word so it is non-verbal.

It’s easy to see how and why there are so many different interpretations, definitions, and nuances when it comes to discussing non-verbal and verbal communication. I’ll leave it to the academic and scientific experts to figure out the finer points, and move on to the more practical aspects of body language. My outcome is to help you understand The Secret Language of Influence.

Does one of these sentences include nonverbal communication?

1) It doesn’t make any difference whether we categorize written material as verbal or nonverbal communication.

2) It DOESN’T make ANY DIFFERENCE whether we categorize written material as verbal or nonverbal communication!

Answer?

I don’t know…

To Be Continued!

Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

People’s thoughts and behaviors aren’t related anywhere near as often as you’d like to believe.

As a rule, the conscious mind is more influenced by words and the nonconscious mind is influenced more by EVERYTHING ELSE (nonverbal communication, including body language).

To learn more about the nonconscious mind and the illusion of conscious will there is a lengthy discussion at www.kevinhogan.com/nonconsciousmind.htm

The Study of Nonverbal Communication

The observation and discussion of body language has been around in one form or another since the days of ancient Rome and Greece. Body language and non-verbal behavior is referenced in many varied disciplines, such as anthropology, dance, psychiatry, and sociology. Even Charles Darwin tackled the subject of facial expressions in 1872; many of his thoughts have since been proven by modern researchers.

Body language as a formal area of study first emerged in the post-World War II years. The 1950’s saw the first few in-depth examinations of non-verbal communication and the 1960’s saw an exponential growth in the number and type of formal studies. The discipline continued to grow and change in the 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s, with more growth and discovery happening in the current decade as well.

In the earliest years, researchers focused on body language as specific, separate actions with a single meaning. This gave way over the years to an understanding of body language as a complex aspect of communication where specific actions often have many different meanings depending on context, environment, culture, individual personalities, etc.

Why should you care about the formal study of body language?

Check back soon for the rest of "Secret Language of Influence" Chapter 1!

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The Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

Finally if you utilize this book to help you read the nonconscious mind and use the information as a way to predict nonconscious behavior and nonconscious decisions (those that happen quickly and without cognition) you will do much better at “reading people,” and predicting their behavior.

You’ll be able to influence people with ease.

You’ll be able to know what they will do next more often than you might guess

But will you know what they are “thinking” at the level of conscious thought?

That’s not the best use of accurate body language reading.

One quick example.

Have you ever found yourself staring at someone, then after a minute you “catch yourself” and wonder WHY you are staring.

They aren’t attractive, you aren’t remotely interested in them.

But there you are burning a hole through them.

In business you can get in big trouble for such behavior.

But try telling the woman that your nonconscious mind was at work and you didn’t mean anything by it.

And of course, in this case, that is the truth!

Your nonconscious mind might have been staring because it perceived her as a threat, or because the woman looked like someone else who had some connection with you (typically emotional and not good) in the past.

Whatever (you can’t be certain as to “why” the nonconscious mind directs the body to do something you can only observe the result) the case, you learned something and so did she and they were not necessarily the same things…

More often than not The Secret Language of Influence is about influencing the NONconscious mind…behavior…

That said, it’s mighty important to influence the thinking brain too.

As you read this book always be aware of these two crucial distinctions.

To be Continued! Check Back Soon!

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Secret Language of Influence: How to read Someone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

Despite the complex interrelationships involved in communication, researchers and scientists have successfully studied its parts and components to produce a much greater understanding of how they work individually and how they work together. Body language and other elements of nonverbal communication are components of communication that are readily observable and measurable, so our knowledge continues to grow at a steady and rapid pace.

This book sheds light on body language and nonverbal communication. The Secret Language of Influence. And there is a great deal of information I am excited to present along the way.

You CAN use all the factors you learn about to be more influential. You can use everything you learn here to “read” other people.

Because people’s actual body movements are typically controlled by the nonconscious mind, the person you are watching may not only not be aware of the message they are sending, they may not even cognitively agree with it!

(You probably want to read that again.)

One of the reasons there is so much trouble in communication in general is because people live on auto pilot. We really use our “conscious will,” very little. If we had to use conscious thought for everything we do, we’d never get anything done and we’d all die in a car accident in the next week.

At the nonconscious level (the part of us that for better and worse “does” but doesn’t “think”) the brain sends impulses for the body to move, be still, look, engage, confront, run, hide, you name it.

…and all of this happens before the thinking (cortical) part of the brain has clicked in and knows what the body is doing.

Words come out of your mouth and before you know it, you said something you didn’t mean (though you might have “felt” what you said…)

Sometimes the thinking brain is in alignment with the nonconscious mind…and sometimes the two cause very different behaviors to happen.

In fact, a growing body of research reveals that there is no significant correlation between the personality and behaviors of the nonconsicous mind, and the personality and behaviors of the conscious mind.

(Say “wow.”)

Thus, when you “read” someone, you might see one thing while the person is THINKING of something totally different.

To Be Continued...

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The Secret Language of Influence: How to Read Anyone in Three Seconds or Less (Chapter 1 Continued)

2008-05-09T08:16:00.001-07:00

Cool title.

Best part is that it’s a pretty perfect description of nonverbal communication.

You might notice that I use the phrases “nonverbal communication” and “body language” almost interchangeably in this book at times. So let’s define each of these right away.

The fact is that “body language” is a sub domain of nonverbal communication.

Body Language refers to body position, gestures, eye contact and …the body!

And it is at this level of nonverbal communication that The Secret Language of Influence occurs.

The vast majority of all that is communicated is nonverbal. Everything in nonverbal communication has a significant impact on you and me. Most people however live very randomly or live intentionally and then send messages they believe to say one thing…when they really are being received as something else.

And that is why so few people are influential. Almost no one communicates clearly. Misunderstandings abound.

Why?

People were never taught how to use the environment, their desk, the color of their home, their jewelry, their neckline, skirt length, low rider pants, tattoos….to influence.

And when you think about it, that is a shame because the words you and I say are darned important….but the nonverbal communication we “send” and “receive” is waaaaaay more important.

Here ya’ go: A woman in an office hoping for attention from superiors for the good job she’s doing yet not getting the promotion… so she starts with the sweater with plunging neckline and so forth.

Attention?

She gets it.

Promotion?

Not a chance.

An accumulation of studies shows that women who are in the field of selling (not including casino’s and resorts) have longer appointments with the decision maker if they DO dress revealingly.

The other result
They make far fewer sales.

Dress is very influential.

The term ‘body language’ is used so much…it’s overused.

One person might say, “Her body language was very negative throughout the meeting” while another person might say, “His body language was very aggressive and intimidating”. In both cases, however, body language is only a portion of the communication process that led to a specific conclusion or interpretation about the other person.

And interpretations are just as often incorrect as they are correct.

We speak of body language as if it were a separate, distinct activity, unrelated to other communication characteristics such as words, tone of voice, pacing, volume, and the like. The reality is all of these communication elements work together, and it is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to complete separate them from each other.

To be Continued...

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Attractive Women Want.... Everything (Part 4)

2008-04-25T10:37:00.001-07:00

By Kevin Hogan, Body Language Expert

Not So Different, After All

Not So Different, After All What about the academic argument that men are primed much more than women to highly value beauty in romantic partners in an evolutionary quest for health, fertility and preservation of the gene pool? The new Northwestern research poses at least as many questions as it answers about the differences between the sexes. Is it possible after all that, when it comes to romantic attraction, men aren't from Mars and women aren't from Venus? The new study suggests that both sexes have similar romantic responses to each other right here on planet Earth.

"Sex Differences in Mate Preferences Revisited: Do People Know What They Initially Desire in a Romantic Partner?" was published in the February issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Northwestern University (2008, February 14).
"What Men And Women Say And Do In Choosing Romantic Partners Are Two Different Matters". ScienceDaily. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com; /releases/2008/02/080213133337.htm

Like Attracts Like?

Physical attractiveness is important in choosing whom to date. Good looking people are not only popular targets for romantic pursuits, they themselves also tend to flock together with more attractive others.

All of this causes one question to come to mind. Do more attractive versus less attractive people wear a different pair of lens when evaluating others’ attractiveness?

Columbia University marketing professor, Leonard Lee, and colleagues, George Loewenstein (Carnegie Mellon University), Dan Ariely (MIT) and James Hong and Jim Young (HOTorNOT.com), decided to test this theory in the realm of an online dating site. The site HOTorNOT.com allows members to rate others on their level of physical attractiveness.

Lee and colleagues analyzed two data sets from HOTorNOT.com -- one containing members’ dating requests, and the other containing the attractiveness ratings of other members. Both data sets also included ratings of members’ own attractiveness as rated by other members.

The results, which will be published in an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, are revealing. Consistent with previous research, people with similar levels of physical attractiveness indeed tend to date each other, with more attractive people being more particular about the physical attractiveness of their potential dates.

Furthermore, people prefer to date others who are moderately more attractive than them.

Compared to females, males are more influenced by how physically attractive their potential dates are, but less affected by how attractive they themselves are, when deciding whom to date.

To Be Continued... Check Back Soon!

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Attractive Women Want... Everything (part 3)

2008-04-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

By Kevin Hogan

Body Language Expert

Does Attractiveness Matter for Men?

In fact, we know from previous research that a man's attractiveness does matter in all aspects of life. Just recently it was found that almost all Fortune 500 CEO's are NOT bald when about 35% of men in the population are indeed bald.

We also know factually that those same Fortune 500 CEO's are likely to be significantly taller than their counterparts in the real world.

Facial attractiveness in men doesn't pay off for them like it does women, however. Attractive men don't earn significantly more than unattractive men. Attractive men don't accumulate significantly more wealth than the unattractive.

What About Romance?

In romantic attraction, however, things are different.

In short, the data suggest that whether you're a man or a woman, being attractive is just as good for your romantic prospects and, to a lesser extent, so is being a good earner.

For a month, the romantic lives of study participants were scrutinized, including their prospects within and outside of a speed-dating event.

What people said and did in choosing romantic partners were two different matters.

"True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner's physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac," said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg School of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern.

But in reality men and women were equally inspired by physical attraction and equally inspired by earning power or ambition.

"In other words good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well," said Eli Finkel, assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern. "Most noteworthy, the earning-power effect as well as the good-looks effect didn't differ for men and women."

Participants' preferences based on their live romantic interactions contrasted with the ideal sex-differentiated preferences that they reported 10 days before the speed-dating event.

"We found that the romantic dynamics that occurred at the speed-dating event and during the following 30-day period had little to do with the sex-differentiated preferences stated on the questionnaires," said Finkel.

Everybody Lies?

House M.D. says that, "Everybody Lies," and while that is true, it may not completely answer why men and women say that they want one thing in a partner and then head straight to beauty instead.

Sometimes people THINK they want something/someone, but of course that's just the teeny part of the brain that actually thinks. The nonconscious part of the brain isn't wired to think or be interested in astronomy or geography.

The speed dating methodology gave the researchers an opportunity not available to earlier generations of researchers to compare stated romantic preferences with actual choices participants made about a series of potential partners.

The discrepancy between what people did and said in this dating situation fits with other research that shows that people often do a poor job explaining why they do things, often referring to accepted cultural theories to explain their own behavior.

The speed-dating methodology allowed the Northwestern researchers to move beyond the abstract world of romantic ideals to see how people actually rated a number of flesh-and-blood people regarding physical attractiveness, ambition and earning power.

"If you were to tell me that you prefer physically attractive romantic partners, I would expect to see that you indeed are more attracted to physically attractive partners," said Eastwick. "But our participants didn't pursue their ideal in this way. This leads us to question whether people know what they initially value in a romantic partner."

To Be Continued...

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Attractive Women Want... Everything! (Part 2)

2008-04-23T15:13:00.001-07:00

By Kevin Hogan

Body Language Expert

Beauty Beyond Cultural Norms

And now there is new research that has just been released from the University of Texas, Austin that shows that things go far beyond "male dominance" or "cultural norms."

The advantage of beauty appears to be big in one of the most important ways.

The release reporting the new study reveals that although many researchers have believed women choose partners based on the kind of relationship they are seeking, when in fact, women's preferences can be influenced by their own attractiveness.

David Buss, psychology researcher at the university, has published the findings in "Attractive Women Want it All: Good Genes, Economic Investment, Parenting Proclivities and Emotional Commitment" in this month's Evolutionary Psychology. Popular literature citation: University of Texas at Austin (2008, March 24). Do Attractive Women Want It All?. ScienceDaily. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com; /releases/2008/03/080320155237.htm

We used to think that just what women REALLY value depended on the type of relationship they were looking for.

We believed that women looking for long-term partners wanted someone who would be a good provider for them and their children, but women seeking short-term flings care more about masculinity and physical attractiveness, features that may be passed down to children.

Buss and Todd Shackelford, psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University, have found women ideally want partners who have all the characteristics they desire, but they will calibrate their standards based on their own desirability.

"When reviewing the qualities they desire in romantic partners, women gauge what they can get based on what they got," Buss said. "And women who are considered physically attractive maintain high standards for prospective partners across a variety of characteristics."

The researchers identified four categories of characteristics women seek in a partner:

Good genes, reflected in desirable physical traits

Resources (money/education)

The desire to have children

Good parenting skills

and

Loyalty and devotion

Most women attempt to secure the best combination of the qualities they desire from the same man, but the researchers said a small portion of women who do not find a partner with all the qualities may trade some characteristics for others.

Although women's selectivity across categories reflected how attractive they appeared to other people, the researchers found the characteristics men desired in a partner did not vary based on their own physical attractiveness.

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Attractive Women Want... Everything! (Part 1)

2008-04-22T15:58:00.001-07:00

Attractive Women Want.... EVERYTHING!
By Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

Beauty is one of those things that stirs emotions about as deep as anything. People want, and in fact, on some levels, people NEED to be as beautiful as they possibly can be.

Need beauty?

Yes. People need beauty.

Studies have shown that infants and children who are seen as unattractive are beaten and abused by their mothers far more often than their attractive counterparts.
We could stop there, but even if the average or below average in appearance survive childhood, their chances, particularly women's chances of ending up with a financially successful and attractive hubby by mid-life are greatly reduced. And what about after hubby bites the dust?
The less attractive women end up with very little money in inheritance and accumulate almost no net worth whether on their own from their own career, or received from their hubby in the will.

Oh, and what if the woman decides to go into the concrete jungle? Attractiveness is crucial to their salary and advancement.
Evil men?
Hardly.

Unattractive women are advanced less often and with less salary increase than their attractive counterparts to a much greater degree by their women superiors than male.

In other words. Women are hiring, advancing, and paying more to attractive women than unattractive women in a way that supersedes what men have done in the past.
Attraction and Net WorthHow much better do attractive women do than unattractive women in net worth? Last time I looked it was staggering. (Something like 100 times more money accumulated in the family, usually most by the husband, but not always. I'll share the data later; we have enough for this article today!)
It's definitely not....a pretty picture...for those who aren't pretty.
And there is more.
Even Computers Know Beauty

Recently a mathematician came out with a program where a computer can calculate whether a woman is beautiful or not. And it does it with surprising accuracy. The reason it works so well is because there are specific aspects and attributes that are "visible" to a machine that are quickly measurable.

Scary that a photograph of a woman can help you predict her likelihood of success on the job, financial accumulation and whether she was beaten by her Mom or not.

To Be Continued...

When Do People Lie The Most?

2008-04-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

When Do People Lie The Most?

by Kevin Hogan
Body Language Expert

People lie, research has shown, in one-fourth of their daily, social interactions. But according to Cornell University communications researchers, people are most likely to lie on the telephone.

In fact, the researchers say, phone fibbing is even more likely than when people use e-mail, instant messaging or even speak face-to-face.

"Some psychologists did not expect this. Lies makes us feel uncomfortable, and you would think we should be using media to reduce that discomfort, but that's not the case," says Jeff Hancock, Cornell assistant professor of communication. In a study of 30 students, his research group found that, "People lied most on the telephone and least in e-mail, and that lying rates in face-to-face and instant message interactions were about equal," he says. It is the communication technology, he suggests, that affects lying.

Hancock and Cornell graduate students Jennifer Thom-Santelli and Thompson Ritchie are authors of the peer-reviewed study, "Deception and Design: The Impact of Communication on Lying Behavior," to be presented April 24-29 at the Computer-Human Interaction (CHI) scientific meeting in Vienna, Austria.

On average, the lies told by the students in the study were trivial, Hancock says. E-mail lies tended more often to be planned, and the lies usually were believed, according to the e-mailers.

Why does the telephone make it easier to tell untruths? "If you called in sick to your boss, but you were dressed and ready to ski, you would succeed in lying on the phone. But if you claimed to be sick in a face-to-face conversation, but you were wearing a ski outfit, you would obviously fail in lying," Hancock observes.

The telephone, he says, allows people in different physical locations "to communicate with vocal and inflection cues intact, while e-mail and instant messages eliminate or distort nonverbal cues and modify the timing of communication."

Because the majority of lies are unplanned and tend to emerge spontaneously from conversation, "media where interactions are in real time boost the opportunity for deception," Hancock says. "If during a conversation one friend is asked by another what she thinks of his new shirt, and she does not like it, she is now presented with a decision to lie or not," says Hancock. "This type of opportunity is less likely to arise when composing an e-mail. Thus face-to-face conversation, telephones and instant messages present more opportunity for lies."

However, if the conversation is on the record, Hancock notes, people are less likely to lie. "Users should be hesitant to lie in a medium where statements are recorded and are easily reviewed," he says. Face-to-face and telephone conversations are typically not recorded, while e-mail is often saved by both the sender, receiver and by servers hosting e-mail accounts. Instant-message conversations are logged for the duration of an exchange and can easily be saved.

Participants in the study recorded all social communications for seven days, including how often they lied. The rate of deception was calculated by dividing the number of lies by the number of social communications. Among 30 students involved in the study, there were 1,198 social communications and 310 lies. On average, participants engaged in 6.11 social communications daily and lied 1.6 times per day, meaning that about 26 percent of the reported social communications involved a lie.

Of the telephone conversations, 37 percent involved deception, while face-to-face conversations included lies 27 percent of the time. About 21 percent of the instant messages and 14 percent of the e-mailing included lies. Hancock also found that experienced e-mail users were more likely to lie more often.

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